New Blog

So, I may or may not know one of my Christmas/birthday presents...  Since I'm getting a camera, I thought what better way to share my pictures than to make a photography blog?  That's just what I did. You can find it here.
I'm not promising that it will be updated very often, especially since I'm certainly not a photography major and am not taking any classes.  This is just for my own enjoyment.  If anyone wants to do a photo shoot, just let me know!  I love taking pictures of my friends since they are all rather beautiful :)

Change

I've had so many epiphanies recently.  I know change can be good.  I'm not a close-minded right wing... person... With that being said, if you don't know me, yes, I do lean to the right. Anywho, I'm not by any means saying I love change either.  What I have realized though, is that I don't want to change to be what someone wants or needs, and I certainly don't want them to change for me.  I am not going to compromise my beliefs and foundations and principles for a guy.  I want to be firmly rooted in my beliefs, and he should be too.

Ctrl Alt Delete

Blech. I want to end task school. That would be great.  Finals aren't fun.  Having friends leave soon isn't fun.  Papers aren't fun.  Doing laundry isn't fun.  Studying isn't fun.  Cutting your knee when shaving isn't fun.  Sleep is fun.  That's what I'm going to do here in a second.  I also like snow.  And family.  And my fish that are somehow still alive.

Anyway, I just wanted to share with the world that tenth avenue north is pretty great. I just discovered them -- I know. Everyone knows them. I knew them... I just didn't know them.

P.S. It wasn't until this post that I realized that there really is a Delete button... Had you asked me before, I would have said you hit ctrl, alt, backspace :)
P.P.S. You should watch these. Groban's Garden. Josh is the man and I sort of, kind of, am in love with him.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wFMMRJ9K5u0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_YpR63yuMc4

Chewin' Cashews

        It's been 5 months.  In some ways, it still doesn't seem like it's happened.  I still say that I'm going to grandma and granddaddy's house whenever I go to visit my grandma. And when I go, I am so consumed with helping her get the mail or pick up something she dropped, or just holding her hand that I don't have time to realize that he isn't there.  It's easy to just imagine that he is sitting in the living room watching wheel of fortune or in the kitchen sipping on a diet coke eating a tomato sandwich.  
        But man.  I miss him.
        I wish I would have had more time with him. But 91 years is an awfully long time. He was always the shy one who would sit back and listen to conversations, chuckling when he found something funny. He always had a grin on his face. I do wish I would have asked him more questions about his time in France, Italy and Africa -- or about his faith. But I regret nothing.
        One thing that we definitely had in common was our love for cashews.  I would often spend Sunday afternoons sitting on his lap eating them by the handful seeing who could chew them up into cashew butter quickest. I think he let me win. He was such a good man.  He took care of my grandma better than anyone ever could have.  People always say that their husband/wife is their second half, but these two seriously were half of each other.  I am thankful that my grandma has found the strength to keep pushing on without him. 
        I know I'll be seeing him someday in Heaven, but until then, I will smile every time I think of him.  I could not have asked for a better granddaddy. 

Spending Time

       

        I was just thinking today of what makes me happy.  Friends surely do.  Seeing beauty in creation -- flowers, animals, clouds, leaves, people... Having "me" time. Making food.  Making strangers smile.  Seeing babies learn how to walk.  Hanging out with God. 

        Sadly, I almost feel like I spend more time watching babies than I spend with God.  I know this is not really the case, but sometimes it feels this way.  I spend time in prayer daily and always talk to God when I am walking to my classes, but typically, this is all the time I allot for him in my schedule. How sad is that? Most of the time, I feel my best when I am reading the Bible or am sitting in nature listening.  Why don't I do it more often? All this thinking was spurred on by the song "Spending Time" by Stellar Kart. As I was listening, I was like, woah. That is me. I was going to post a link to the song, but all the videos I could find had shoddy quality. You'll just have to find a recording yourself :)

Just so happens my schedule is empty, but still there's no room for you.
Time has come and gone, and things have come along that take me away from you.

Don't take this the wrong way -- You're so perfect.

And everything tells me you're so worth it.

Spending time with you, not a moment goes by that you're not by my side.
Spending time with you, you're all that I want.

Why's it so hard to do?

When we first met I remember I'd do anything for you.
But as the years go by, I feel my attention slide, and I'm pulling away from you.

Don't take this the wrong way -- You're so perfect.

And everything tells me you're so worth it.

Spending time with you, not a moment goes by that you're not by my side.
Spending time with you, you're all that I want.

Why's it so hard to do?

    

        My challenge for you, and myself, would be to spend as much time you can with God this upcoming week.  Instead of watching that TV show on Hulu, or taking that nap just because you happen to have free time, spend time in God's presence... not that we aren't already always in it... I guess what I'm saying is that we should all be more purposeful in how we spend our time. 

Highly Recommended

Ladies and Gentlemen, 
It is December.  Know what that means??  It means all you crazies who think I've been listening to Christmas music too soon really have no argument on your side anymore.  It's after Thanksgiving.  It's December.  It is twenty five days until Christmas.  Everyone should be rocking out to awesome Christmas tunes now! Here is a list of my current 10 favorite Christmas songs that I have on my computer. These are in no specific order -- except the first.  It is my favorite :)


1. Ave Maria - Josh Groban - Noel. First off, I just love this song.  Add an angelic children's choir, and you're golden. 
2. Deck the Halls - Mannheim Steamrollers - Christmas. I always know the time has come when I hear this song playing in my dad's car. You think I listen to Christmas music too soon?? No.  He does.
3. God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen - Mannheim Steamrollers - Christmas. Both tracks. They are two completely different styles, but both so epic. 
4. What Child is This? - Josh Groban - Noel.  Have I mentioned yet that I am in love with this man? Because I am.
5. The First Noel - Mannheim Steamrollers - Christmas Extraordinaire. This song is gorgeous. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I love violins a lot. This song is very emotional and beautiful. 
6. Ev'ry Valley - Larnelle Harris - The New Young Messiah. Oh, sure.  You can be a stickler to tradition and say The Messiah is perfect and should not be touched... But you know you like this song.  Larnelle is the man!
7. Cuddle for Christmas - Suade - Cuddle for Christmas. Only slightly different than the song before :) Plus, you should just check out Suade, especially their album All Singing, No Dancing.
8. Stille Nacht - Chanticleer - Christmas with Chanticleer. Yes, there is a female soloist in this song, Dawn Upshaw. But it's still Chanticleer and their amazing tight harmonies. 
9. Cantique de Noel - Mannheim Steamrollers - A Fresh Aire Christmas. This is hands down, my favorite Christmas hymn. I'm not sure why.  I am in awe whenever I hear it in most forms.
10. Hark! The Herald Angels Sing - Mannheim Steamrollers - A Fresh Aire Christmas. This one always gets me in the spirit. 


So I've realized two things by writing this. First off, a huge majority of my Christmas music on my computer is Mannheim. Don't get me wrong. Mannheim is great... I just realized that I need a bit more variety. I have more Christmas cds waiting to be put on my computer... I should get on that. I'll probably come up with a revised list when I get the rest of the music on my computer. 
Also, I've noticed that I sure do blog a lot more when I'm not on facebook... Hum. I wonder if blogging will become a habit for me over these three weeks that I will keep up with when I get facebook back. I guess we'll just have to wait and see!


Now go listen to some awesome Christmas music!

Worry no more.

       
       Oh drama, drama, drama.  That is what today was filled with.  There are not many things I hate more than seeing those I love get hurt.  Actually, I can't really think of anything worse that that.  I know everyone has bad days, but no one deserves to have bad days day after day. 

       Most of the time, it is the petty things in life that make me frustrated with God.  I honestly have no reason to be frustrated with God, but I often find that I am.  If only I could go back in time... I would tell fifteen year old Janelle, "Chill out. He's got this."  There is nothing in this world God can't do. But, I always have to have my own plans for my life that I think are great and will be best for me.  God keeps pushing me in His direction and I keep resisting.  I am His child.  He obviously wants what is best for me.  Why should I ever question or resist him?  I'm human.  That's why. 


"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future."

--Jeremiah 19:11 

       I've finally come to terms with the fact that I do not know what is best for me.  God does.  End of story.  99% of the stressful things in my life are things that would not be an issue if I was really trying to discern God's will in my life.  I know what I want to do and be when I grow up.  I've known since I was old enough to carry a baby doll.  I've always known.  I want to be a mother.  I want to be exactly like my mom.  I want a home to fill with love, good cooking and babies.  I want to raise my children in a strong Christian household -- one that truly puts God first.  Not money.  Not violence.  Not food.  God.  In order for this dream of mine to become a reality, I need a Godly man. 
       So... I decided to attend a nice Christian college. Surely God would smack me upside the face with my future husband right?  Apparently not.  God doesn't change his plans to do what I think is best.  But I've realized that if God wants it to happen, it will.  It just will.  I'm not saying that because I am 19 and single, God is saying that I am not supposed to be a mother.  I'm saying that I don't need to worry about it.  My life is in his hands. Completely. 
       I know it's a rather long passage that everyone and their mother knows, but it's such a good reminder.


       Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?  Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
       And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin.  Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith?  So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’  For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.  But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

  --Matthew 6:25-34       

Aletheia

I will be the first to admit that I am stubborn. I love adidas and because of that, I never give Nike a chance. I refused to read/watch Harry Potter growing up because it was a huge fad that I didn't care to be a part of.  I don't like trying new foods. Get this. I never wanted to listen to Josh Groban because there was a girl at my high school who was in love with him and I didn't want to be associated with something she liked. I know. Horrible mistake. I like standing firm in my beliefs, which is a good thing, but am not typically open to doing something a different way. Don't get me wrong -- I have no problem with people doing things their way or hearing about it, but I'm just probably not going to change.

I did something for the first time that I should have done years ago. I went to Atetheia. Why have I never gone before? Because everyone was doing it. I don't like doing things because everyone else is. I secretly had wanted to go for a very long time. I wanted to see what the hype was all about.

Well, I went and loved it. The worship was fantastic. It was probably the most put together church band I've ever seen. The songs, while new to me, were meaningful and relevant. My favorite part, however, was the sermon. Expository preaching. Something I'd never really experienced before. It was really meaningful to me and I feel like I am way more likely to remember what I heard later and be able to sum up the sermon as well. I like understanding things more that I enjoy hearing pastors give their opinion on things. I like truth. I like learning the origins of words. When I go back and read Matthew 6:19-34 later on, I'll be able to remember what was said this morning.

I grew up in a church that definitely does not preach in this way. The service is started off with some hymns and then scripture, offertory, more scripture, prayer, sermon, prayer, hymns, sending. I often find it hard to see how the sermon relates to the scripture. Sometimes it seems like there is a sermon written on something "Christian" and then some scripture is thrown in to please the congregation. If I ever remember anything from the sermons, it's the fun little anecdote at the beginning. With that being said, I never disliked church, but it was definitely the music that was the made me enjoy it. For once in my life, it was the sermon.

So, if you are interested in trying out a new church, are interested in expository preaching, like the Sermon on the Mount, or just want to try something different, come out to Aletheia next Sunday. I'll be there :)

Hug it out.

I see a trend in my blog posts, and future posts that I want to write about.
I say something that is bothering me about people.
I say what I feel, or what I think should happen.
and then I say that I think we should all just hug and be happy.

That's all for now :)

P.S. Deathly Hallows pt. 1?
yeah.
It's great.

New Deep

I'm having an off day and I don't know why. Amazingly, it probably has nothing to do with the fact that Josh Groban's new cd came out today and I couldn't even buy it thanks to stores who only stock their shelves on Tuesdays. I don't know what my problem is. I feel like I want to be around people all the time, and then when I am, I just want to get away. Ladies and Gentlemen, it is high time for Thanksgiving break.
It's amazing how breaks come JUST when I need them. Just when everything is getting on my last nerve, just when I feel so stressed that I want to do nothing other than sleep, a break appears. But why can't I just be happy all the time? It bothers me that I can't pinpoint every single one of my issues. For instance, EMU has an international hymn sing tonight... There are VERY few things that I love more than music, but I don't think that I'm going to go. I just don't want to and I don't know why. I know I'll probably kick myself tomorrow for not going, but if I could go back to today, I'd probably repeat tonight all over again. Why am I not going? ... I don't know. Why am I in a horrid mood today? ... I don't know.
Prayer and music are probably the two most influential aspects of my life. But recently, I haven't been able to get enough of either of them to the point of frustration. I'll be listening to John Mayer (New Deep at the moment) on my laptop and then sit there thinking how I should turn on the radio because I needed music in the room... I couldn't comprehend that I already was listening to something. It just wasn't enough.
I think I just need time to relax. I always want answers right when I ask the question. I know God doesn't work like that most of the time. I know people say that God gives you what you need in ways you don't expect. Ex: you ask for patience, and he gives you situations to be patient in... I feel like my life is full of these situations and I am not 'patient'. I get frustrated that He can't just give me 'patience'. I don't need more situations to test my 'patience'. But, I guess I do. God knows what's best, and no matter how hard it is for me, His plan is best and I just need to stick with it -- even if I don't know what it is.

Titles

So I guess I should explain the name of my blog and the web address. They are both songs. I knew right away Closer than you think would be good, but it took me a couple of days to think of a web address. 


Closer than you think. It's a song by Fiction Family -- Jon Foreman of Switchfoot, and Sean from Nickel Creek.  

You've got a vision of some far off day beautiful and bright
Care and hanging out of reach but always in your sight.
There's an icon in your mind that stands for happiness one day
A picture on some wall of a kingdom far away.

It's closer than you think
It's breathing in between
It's closer than you think
It's right under your feet

The sky is much more blue but the clouds are always white
The streets ofcourse are bold and always lit with rainto flight
There's nothing on this earth that's as good as what's up there
Life is so much better when you're floating in the air

It's closer than you think
It's breathing in between
It's closer than you think
It's right under your feet

Forget about your brother if he doesn't seem to understand
The hurt that you've concocted in your head
Nevermind your sister when she asks you silly questions
About all the broken people left unfed
Burning questions are better left for dead

Spend your life inside a box looking through stained glass
Dream about a better day and hope it finds you fast

It's closer than you think
It's breathing in between
It's closer than you think
It's right under your feet

Two feet to carry on is a phrase in one of Trent Wagler's songs. For those who might not know him, Trent is a local (to Harrisonburg, VA) folk musician. While I typically don't like countryesque music, I love Trent. I might sound really hypocritical since I like Nickel Creek too :) Anyway, it's from Kiss Me Like A Stranger.

Won't you kiss me like a stranger?
I haven't seen for so long 

Won't you hold me like it's the first time

and sing me a sweet song. 

I want to travel many miles

and I want pleasure and I want pain

and I want the starlight as my window

cause I've got comets through my brain

So kiss me, like a stranger

Kiss me so strong.

I've got two hands to hold you.

Two feet to carry on. 

I want to hold you like it's Winter

and I want to warm you like it's Spring

and I want to kiss you like a stranger

'Till the Autumn comes again

So kiss me, so sweetly.

I'll kiss you strong.

I've got two hands to hold you.

Two feet to carry on. 

So when our day is over

and when our work is done

I'm going to light you one more candle

and wait for you to come

'Cause I know your name's forever

And I know your heart is true

And I know that sometimes you'll hurt me darling

Just like I have hurt you

So kiss me, so sweetly

Kiss me so strong.

I've got two hands to hold you

Two feet to carry on. 

Well, I think that they are both fantastic songs and should be looked up immediately :)

Food for Thought

Crazy love. That's what God has for us. While I haven't quite finished the book yet (Crazy Love) by Francis Chan, I know that it will be one that I will go back to and reread. I'm sure I will blog about this book later as well. For now, I think this one paragraph has more than enough to ponder. On page 16, which in reality is like, 2, Chan asks a question I think is often asked, but not really thought about. He starts with a quote from Acts 11:26, saying,
"'The disciples were called Christians first at Antioch." What I find interesting is the simple thought that the Christians didn't name themselves. But rather, they were called (or named) "Christians" by those watching their lives. I wonder if it would be the same today. Could someone look at your life or look at my life and name me a Christian? A humbling question for sure."
I consider myself a "good" person. I don't steal, I don't commit adultery, I for sure don't murder. I don't purposefully upset people -- or upset them in general. I typically have a smile on my face, and a kind word to say. I don't even know how to say what I want. I feel like Christians blend in too much in today's society for 2 reasons.
1. I think people assume they can be good people without God in their lives. Sure, they can go their whole lives without committing a crime, and smile to strangers walking past them, but are they still "good" people? I think they are no worse than lukewarm Christians.
2. I think probably around 98% of Christians are "lukewarm" Christians. (If you've read the book, you know what I'm talking about) I will be the first to admit that I fall under this category. We should be 100% about God. As I do not have a way with words, nor am I a Theologian, I will quote Chan again. He says, "Lukewarm people say they love Jesus, and He is, indeed, a part of their lives. But only a part. They give Him a section of their time, their money, and their thoughts, but He isn't allowed to control their lives." It's so hard to even imagine going a day with God on my mind every second, whether I'm feeding my cat, picking up groceries, or taking a shower -- to have everything we do, truly be for God and his glory.
I'm really not trying to be a downer here. God loves us. He loves me. He loves you. He loves your neighbor's sister's boyfriend's dentist's aunt's dog groomer. There is nothing that we can do that will make Him love us less. He loved Hitler just as much as he loved Menno Simons. Even if I plant a new Church in a tribe otherwise unreached, God will not love me more. I don't think we fully comprehend his Crazy love for us! I really can't think of a better word for it than crazy!
I don't know about you, but I love God. Even more than that, I love that God loves me.