Worry no more.

       
       Oh drama, drama, drama.  That is what today was filled with.  There are not many things I hate more than seeing those I love get hurt.  Actually, I can't really think of anything worse that that.  I know everyone has bad days, but no one deserves to have bad days day after day. 

       Most of the time, it is the petty things in life that make me frustrated with God.  I honestly have no reason to be frustrated with God, but I often find that I am.  If only I could go back in time... I would tell fifteen year old Janelle, "Chill out. He's got this."  There is nothing in this world God can't do. But, I always have to have my own plans for my life that I think are great and will be best for me.  God keeps pushing me in His direction and I keep resisting.  I am His child.  He obviously wants what is best for me.  Why should I ever question or resist him?  I'm human.  That's why. 


"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future."

--Jeremiah 19:11 

       I've finally come to terms with the fact that I do not know what is best for me.  God does.  End of story.  99% of the stressful things in my life are things that would not be an issue if I was really trying to discern God's will in my life.  I know what I want to do and be when I grow up.  I've known since I was old enough to carry a baby doll.  I've always known.  I want to be a mother.  I want to be exactly like my mom.  I want a home to fill with love, good cooking and babies.  I want to raise my children in a strong Christian household -- one that truly puts God first.  Not money.  Not violence.  Not food.  God.  In order for this dream of mine to become a reality, I need a Godly man. 
       So... I decided to attend a nice Christian college. Surely God would smack me upside the face with my future husband right?  Apparently not.  God doesn't change his plans to do what I think is best.  But I've realized that if God wants it to happen, it will.  It just will.  I'm not saying that because I am 19 and single, God is saying that I am not supposed to be a mother.  I'm saying that I don't need to worry about it.  My life is in his hands. Completely. 
       I know it's a rather long passage that everyone and their mother knows, but it's such a good reminder.


       Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?  Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
       And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin.  Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith?  So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’  For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.  But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

  --Matthew 6:25-34       

Aletheia

I will be the first to admit that I am stubborn. I love adidas and because of that, I never give Nike a chance. I refused to read/watch Harry Potter growing up because it was a huge fad that I didn't care to be a part of.  I don't like trying new foods. Get this. I never wanted to listen to Josh Groban because there was a girl at my high school who was in love with him and I didn't want to be associated with something she liked. I know. Horrible mistake. I like standing firm in my beliefs, which is a good thing, but am not typically open to doing something a different way. Don't get me wrong -- I have no problem with people doing things their way or hearing about it, but I'm just probably not going to change.

I did something for the first time that I should have done years ago. I went to Atetheia. Why have I never gone before? Because everyone was doing it. I don't like doing things because everyone else is. I secretly had wanted to go for a very long time. I wanted to see what the hype was all about.

Well, I went and loved it. The worship was fantastic. It was probably the most put together church band I've ever seen. The songs, while new to me, were meaningful and relevant. My favorite part, however, was the sermon. Expository preaching. Something I'd never really experienced before. It was really meaningful to me and I feel like I am way more likely to remember what I heard later and be able to sum up the sermon as well. I like understanding things more that I enjoy hearing pastors give their opinion on things. I like truth. I like learning the origins of words. When I go back and read Matthew 6:19-34 later on, I'll be able to remember what was said this morning.

I grew up in a church that definitely does not preach in this way. The service is started off with some hymns and then scripture, offertory, more scripture, prayer, sermon, prayer, hymns, sending. I often find it hard to see how the sermon relates to the scripture. Sometimes it seems like there is a sermon written on something "Christian" and then some scripture is thrown in to please the congregation. If I ever remember anything from the sermons, it's the fun little anecdote at the beginning. With that being said, I never disliked church, but it was definitely the music that was the made me enjoy it. For once in my life, it was the sermon.

So, if you are interested in trying out a new church, are interested in expository preaching, like the Sermon on the Mount, or just want to try something different, come out to Aletheia next Sunday. I'll be there :)

Hug it out.

I see a trend in my blog posts, and future posts that I want to write about.
I say something that is bothering me about people.
I say what I feel, or what I think should happen.
and then I say that I think we should all just hug and be happy.

That's all for now :)

P.S. Deathly Hallows pt. 1?
yeah.
It's great.

New Deep

I'm having an off day and I don't know why. Amazingly, it probably has nothing to do with the fact that Josh Groban's new cd came out today and I couldn't even buy it thanks to stores who only stock their shelves on Tuesdays. I don't know what my problem is. I feel like I want to be around people all the time, and then when I am, I just want to get away. Ladies and Gentlemen, it is high time for Thanksgiving break.
It's amazing how breaks come JUST when I need them. Just when everything is getting on my last nerve, just when I feel so stressed that I want to do nothing other than sleep, a break appears. But why can't I just be happy all the time? It bothers me that I can't pinpoint every single one of my issues. For instance, EMU has an international hymn sing tonight... There are VERY few things that I love more than music, but I don't think that I'm going to go. I just don't want to and I don't know why. I know I'll probably kick myself tomorrow for not going, but if I could go back to today, I'd probably repeat tonight all over again. Why am I not going? ... I don't know. Why am I in a horrid mood today? ... I don't know.
Prayer and music are probably the two most influential aspects of my life. But recently, I haven't been able to get enough of either of them to the point of frustration. I'll be listening to John Mayer (New Deep at the moment) on my laptop and then sit there thinking how I should turn on the radio because I needed music in the room... I couldn't comprehend that I already was listening to something. It just wasn't enough.
I think I just need time to relax. I always want answers right when I ask the question. I know God doesn't work like that most of the time. I know people say that God gives you what you need in ways you don't expect. Ex: you ask for patience, and he gives you situations to be patient in... I feel like my life is full of these situations and I am not 'patient'. I get frustrated that He can't just give me 'patience'. I don't need more situations to test my 'patience'. But, I guess I do. God knows what's best, and no matter how hard it is for me, His plan is best and I just need to stick with it -- even if I don't know what it is.