Repetitive.

        I am a fairly repetitive person.  If you have been around me for any amount of time, you've probably heard the same stories 5,000 times over and over again.  My top one is probably Allegra's butt being bitten by a mouse.  If you haven't heard this story, you should ask me about it sometime.  It's pretty great.  But anyway, I think that this post is probably going to take a path that is typical for me.  I'm going to talk about God.  He is just SO incredible, and I love Him so much.
        One of the things that the leaders of Aletheia have said multiple times that has made me think is that we should always be all about God -- not all about a movement, a bill, a person, or a church.  It's not all about Aletheia.  I in no way put Aletheia on a pedestal higher, or anywhere near God.  It's not about Paul, our pastor, or even Paul, the apostle.  It's not about any new environment/sustainability bill, or MRI, or about TWLOHA.  I'm not saying that these are bad things, but we should NEVER EVER cast a shadow on God.  It is hard for me sometimes, I'll be super honest.  I'm just so pumped about Aletheia and what all they are doing -- planting churches in areas with unchurched college kids.  Sometimes I wonder if I am more pumped about the church than I am about God and His movement.  It's hard sometimes, especially when the thing that we are so excited about brings glory to God.  But there is no way that I can bring glory to God by bringing people to church to show them how awesome the church is, not how awesome God is.
        But I feel like so many times, EMU does not put God on the highest pedestal -- if He is even in the picture.  It's always so political.  It's always about the next cool movement is coming around.  I often get the feeling that people who want to get involved will go as far as to blindly sign any petition that comes around.  They want to make a difference in the world.  People see who is leading the movement at EMU and go, oh, yeah, I believe about the same thing she/he does.  I'll sign it!  I even think people go as far as to sign things just because their friends want them to.  Well, I'm sorry Rebekah, but if you had come up to me with an MRI petition, I would not have signed it for you. (I'm pretty sure she wouldn't be doing this though...)
        I remember one time getting legitimately angry at a girl during lunch.  She passed a petition at our table for MRI (Morally Responsible Investment).  I didn't sign it.  She asked me if I had already signed it, or why I wasn't signing it,  and I said no, I hadn't signed it and wasn't going to.  She asked why, and I told her that my main reason was that I don't ever want to sign anything that I don't know 100% what it is for.  Even if it was something that I did believe in, I still wouldn't have signed it.  Just because I am against abortion doesn't mean that I am going to sign every anti-abortion thing placed under my face.  I don't always know where exactly my support is going.  She then went on to, in about 2 sentences, tell me what MRI was all about.  I still didn't follow completely/wasn't really paying attention, but I do know that it had to do with Israel/Palestine, and I know that I don't want an American's opinion on the situation.  I just really don't know where I stand on the issue because honestly, I don't really know everything that is going on in the Middle East.  So, I tried to politely turn it down, and she kind of scowled at me, rolled her eyes, and said, "I probably shouldn't say this, but I head this one time and really like it.  Those who don't get involved are supporting the oppressor."  Well, I don't really know who the oppressor is in this situation.  Israel thinks it's Palestine, and vice versa.
        I think that instead of signing petitions for a situation we can't truly have a grasp on, we should pray.  We should pray for God to intervene in the way He wants to.  I don't know.  It's late and this is, as always, a very scattered post.
        EMU has a lot of clubs on campus, just like any other university.  Sadly though, we have more political clubs than Christian... I just think it's crazy that we don't have more about God or less about other things.  Do we really think God should rule our lives?  Or should the environment?  Do you get more mad when you see someone throw a recyclable bottle away, or when an hour goes by without talking about Christ?  I don't even want to know the percentage of time spent at dinner talking about the environment over God.
        Well, I think that we should make a difference by spreading God's Word.  Sure, if we other respectable things in the meantime, that's great.  But our main goal, as clearly laid out by Christ, is making Him known to all peoples.  The great commission.
        "Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go.  When they saw Him, they worshiped Him; but some doubted.  Then Jesus came to them and said, 'All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.  Therefore, go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.  And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.'" --Matthew 28:16-20
      
        Side note -- Can Elmwood please put a paper towel dispenser in our bathroom??  I have nothing at all against air dryers, but you can't really wipe off a wet counter with one...

Purity

I really hope that this post challenges you.  I hope that I somehow get more readers than the few friends of mine at EMU who also blog.  This is for everyone.  Men/women.  Married/single.  Young/old.  It is definitely for me too. 

It's the day after Valentine's Day which I dislike for many reasons, none of which actually include the fact that I am single.  I told Rebekah that I was going to write a post about my pet peeves of relationships and how there are certain things that seem so normal in a relationship that I don't want in mine and that I want to be held accountable for.  After yet another wonderful Bible Study with my girls at Aletheia, I have a much better post in mind. 


Have you ever completely had your views rocked?  There are a few things I think most people know about me. First off, I'd love to think that everyone knows I am a Christian.  I try my hardest to be a genuine Christian as well.  Along with being a Christian, a lot of people know from either me freely talking about it, or from people asking why I wear a ring on my left ring finger but am not engaged, that I have chosen to remain sexually pure for my husband and for Christ. 


Sexual purity sounds pretty great to me.  What more could you want from your future spouse?  Well.  I can name a few other areas we need to be pure.  And let me tell you.  Sexual purity seems so easy compared to the other three I am going to tell you about.  I will be the first to admit that I am not pure, but I now know what I need to work on.  


So I'll start on my easy one.  Body.  Sexuality.  However, this very well could be someone's hardest category.  This does not just pertain to sex though.  I can't put it any better than Lauren did tonight.  She said it is, "any physical act pertaining to any form of sexuality outside marriage."  Maybe this is easy for me because I don't have a boyfriend.  I am not kissing someone on a regular basis (or at all) in a way that would make me question my boundaries.  I have thought more about the future because of this though.  How far will I be willing to go with a boyfriend?  Break ups happen.  While I would love to think that my first boyfriend will turn into my husband, that just can't be guaranteed.  I know that especially in this world, this thought can sound crazy, but what if I don't want to kiss my boyfriend?  I want to be as pure as possible for my future husband, even if it means not kissing him when he is my boyfriend.  Is kissing other boys pure?  Nope.  Not really.  Of course, this is something which he will have a say in too.  


Heart.  Our heart encompasses our affections, emotions, desires, and passions.  Let's be honest.  Girls typically are more emotional and emotionally involved than men.  This is a struggle for a lot of people.  It's so easy to stay up late talking to someone who is not our betrothed.  It's easy to become involved intimately with someone that we shouldn't.  Honestly, this one doesn't effect me that terribly much.  I think most of the guys that I am really good friends with are purely platonic friendships.  I don't have enough fingers to count how many boys I view as my brothers.  I don't necessarily even mean brother in Christ (which they are too) but just brother. They're like family to me and I'm pretty sure it's something they think too.  I think virtually all of my guy friends know that, if nothing else, our differing of opinions is enough to make a relationship not work out.  I know that nothing will happen between us, so I don't emotionally attach myself to guy friends of mine in a way that I shouldn't.  I know it is hard for some people though, and most likely will be for me too when I gain some nice Christian male friends who are conservative. 


Okay.  These two go in order for me.  Mind.  Oh man.  This one is definitely a struggle that I never knew I had.  This is our understanding and thoughts.  It's our impulse thought.  What do I think about as I brush my teeth in the evening? Or when I am standing at the stir fry station making some eggs for breakfast?  I can tell you that it's probably not God.  My problem is that when I really get to know guys, I find out that they're not right for me, and I move on.  It's when I'm getting to know someone that this whole mind issue occurs.  I make scenarios in my head.  I think, "Oh, well, he's like this and this and this, which is great, because I do this, and so this can work out..."  I don't actually know these things about a guy.  I just make this awesome guy in my head that to this day hasn't been right. It's just this horrible future of what Janelle thinks is best for her life.  I'm sure that God has belly laughed at some of my thoughts and plans for my future.  


Soul.  I always thought that this one was easy too.  Everyone's heard stories of people selling their soul to the devil, whether it was to gain a golden fiddle, or to play Paganini.  Funny how both of those examples have to do with playing the violin... Haha.  Anyway, I've heard time and time again never to date a non-believer, or in a term that I found hilarious, flirt-to-convert.  It's a no no.  You just don't do it.  It's more than that though.  It's spiritual compromise.  It's going to a church or church function in hopes of meeting your future spouse.  I will be the first to admit that it has crossed my mind a time or two that I could meet my future husband at Aletheia and how completely convenient that would be.  We would have similar beliefs.  We probably would both be passionate about spreading the gospel and might be involved in an Aletheia church plant!  But, I mean, I know that I don't want my future husband going to church for the intention of finding a "nice Christian girl" and I shouldn't either, for a boy, of course.  Church is for God.  My life is for God. 


My challenge for you is to think about how much you would be okay with your future spouse to have done with their exes, or even friends.  It's really making me think about my friendships with my brothers in Christ.  Maybe it's not okay to be texting my guy friends random things that don't really matter throughout the day.  I don't want my future husband to be doing that.  I don't want him staying up late talking to a girl on a deep level.  I don't want him sending other girls cute messages or notes.  I need to get back in the habit of journaling to my future husband.  It's a great way to funnel all those those thoughts in a positive way. 


Think of everyone as being your sibling in Christ.  Do it. 

Needs

I have so much to do and so little time to do it.

I need to do my homework.
I need to learn repertoire.
I need to hang out with friends.
I need time for sleep.
I need to find a boyfriend.

Woah, woah, woah.  That was a false statement.  I realized tonight how out of wack my priorities have been in my life.  Yes.  I want nothing more in life than to be a great mom married to a fantastic man who form a family fulfilling God's will.  After Bible study tonight though, I realized not only have I not met anyone that I honestly think is what I need in a relationship, but I'm not at the point in my life either.  I am not in a point in my relationship with Christ where I am ready for a distraction.  Yes.  That is what a boyfriend would be.  He'd be a huge distraction in my walk with Christ in all honesty.

I want Christ to be the center of all I do.  It's a goal that will never be met.  If you reach it somehow, please, by all means, let me know how you did it.  I know that I need to share this goal with my future husband.  I need someone who can walk with Christ with me.  Someone who can push me when I feel tired.  Someone who interprets the Bible the way I do. Someone who believes that every. word. is. Truth.

Someone who is always excited about Christ and what He is doing in their lives and the lives of those around them.  Someone who will be the kind of husband the Bible clearly lays out.  Someone who is on fire for Christ.  Someone who will blow me away with his love and deep relationship with God.

What I really need to do is completely and wholly devote my life to Christ.  As I just turned 20 this week, I have decided that this Saturday, I am going to spend 20% of my day (since I've lived roughly 20% of my life and I am 20. It works out...) with Christ in prayer, scripture, and thought.  I'm sure there will be a blog to follow.

In Christ's love,
Janelle.

Two Decades.

I can't wait for January 30, 2013.  I will be able to have a once-in-a-lifetime facebook status.  It will say "It's my birthday tomorrow.  No one here could know I was born this Thursday, 22 years ago."  I indeed was born on a Thursday just like Mr. Jon Foreman -- who is pretty awesome if you didn't know already.  So, look for this status in a year and 355 days.

So.  Here I sit.  A 20 year old.  A girl in her 20's.  Woah.  This is just weird, strange, and slightly overwhelming. A lot will happen (potentially) in my 20's.  I will most likely graduate... I don't know why I wouldn't.  There's a pretty big chance that, while I don't have a boyfriend, I will get married.  If I do get married, there is a fairly large chance I will have children.  In my 20's.  I am 20.

It's a lot to ponder.  I've never really cared that much about how old I am.  The last time I remember being pumped about being a year older was when I was turning 13.  Come on.  Everyone wants to be a teenager.  But I don't know... There's just something about being 20.  I don't even think I'll care that much about turning 21 since I am not a huge fan of alcohol, and aside from being able to legally drink, what good is 21?  But I digress.

I have successfully lived two decades.  Go me!  And I have to say, I'm feel really great with where I'm at.  I feel like I have great friends, a great support group, a flat out amazing family, and a great life ahead of me.  I just hope that I am living each and every day doing what God wants and that I am pleasing to Him.

Awesome

DISCLAIMER:  This might make you angry/frustrated... But not me.

        So tonight, Rebekah made me go to a women's bible study through Aletheia.  They, well, we, are doing a series on marriage, sexuality, divorce and related topics.  It was just so awesome sitting in a circle with a dozen or so other girls who share beliefs with me.  At first, I thought it was just going to be a decent study with nothing too touchy, until we were talking about Genesis 2:23-24. It reads,

The man said, 

"This is now bone of my bone 

and flesh of my flesh; 

she shall be called 'woman'

for she was taken out of man."

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,

and they will become one flesh.

        We talked about what it meant to leave your father and mother as a woman, and one of the girls said something along the lines of, "It means your parents are no longer in charge of your life. They don't have authority over you." Mary, the leader, interjected there and said, "Yes, because your husband does now."  I just sat there and smiled.  It's nice to know that I am not the only woman (along with Rebekah) who really believes that women are to submit to their husbands.  Men are to be the heads of the households. 

There is a hefty analogy in Ephesians which I love and take to heart.  It says, 

"Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.  Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.  Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stair or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.  In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies.  He who loves his wife loves himself  After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church -- for we are members of his body." 

-Ephesians 5:22-30

        Wow.  So much is said here.  Wives, submit to your husbands.  I mean, I'm pretty sure that means that we are to obey them, which gives them authority over us.  He is head of his wife.  I just don't understand how women have issues with this.  Men are to treat their wives as Christ treats the church.  I know Christ always gives me more than I need, or even realize I want.  Why would I ever have any issue submitting to someone who was going to love me, care for me, treat me with respect, never hurt me, and protect me?  If you can give me a legit answer, by all means, let me know. 

        I guess it just baffles me how people can be "Christians" but ignore whatever they deem "outdated" because the Bible is old.  I, for one, believe the Bible is truth.  It is perfect.  Not all of it is happy and joyful and makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.  It challenges us.  It gives us hope.  It motivates us.  I, for one, believe the Word. 

        I for one, will be going back to this Bible study :)

Huh.

        DISCLAIMER:  This is a very scattered post.  I haven't completely processed my thoughts, but I just had to get this out there.

        I just got back from playing flute at a Mennonite meeting.  There was a group of about 18 pastors or elders of Mennonite churches anywhere from Harrisonburg, Minnesota and I believe Ohio?  Anyway.  They are having a conference about how to hold political conversations in the Mennonite church.  It was a very interesting experience, and I was just there to hear their introductions and sing some.  I would have been very interested in staying to hear what the talked about, but part of me thinks that I would not have enjoyed it at all.  The introductions got fairly long.  They talked about reasons people were leaving their church.  Some reasons included too much dialogue about peace, why the American flag was no longer flown in front of the church, and various stances the church took, mainly about war.
        One preacher said that he had a few families leave because of how he pushed peace especially, and then he said, "Well, either that, or because I didn't preach about 7 day creation." That floored me.  A Mennonite church.  Not preaching a 7 day creation.  What was he preaching then??  That comment alone made me not want to attend his church.
        Another lady talked about how about 8 years ago, she was part of an 8 week dialogue between Republicans and Democrat Christians.  She said that it was a good experience and that she thinks she recommends it. Thinks.  She then went on to talk about how she is in a group of Christians, Jews, and Muslims that get together and learn about each other's faith and walks of life.  She raved about this.  Once again, my mind went berserk.  She found it easier to talk about religion with two other very different religions than to talk to people from the opposing political party?  That just blows my mind.
        I felt very outnumbered at this meeting.  There was only one brave soul who said he was "more" conservative.  I had to wonder how much they will actually get accomplished this afternoon.  It is such an unbalanced group of people.  They want to know about issues from both sides of the board.  How can you do that with hardly any representation from one of the parties?
        This made me think about a lot of things.
        1.  It made me wonder how much Mrs. Roth's statement in Government my Sr year is really true.  She lived in Australia for a while, and said that the Democrat and Republican parties are the closest political parties in a country.  Let me explain.  She said that the Dems and GOP are more similar than the two opposing parties in Australia, or in Sweeden or Kenya.  I think about the "hot" topics and how Dems and Reps are as completely opposite as can be in my mind.  And then I think about, well, if this really is a true statement, why can't we seem to to talk about politics without getting all in a fury?  I read on one of my peers blogs about how she can hardly even talk to conservatives.  I just don't understand.  We are humans.  Within this context, we are both CHRISTIAN humans.
        2.  How did Republicans get the stereotype of being close minded?? Yes.  I do admit that I am stubborn in my beliefs, and I think it is good to be.  BUT, I have never heard a conservative person talk about how they just can't even hear other beliefs.  Typically, if I try to give my 2 cents in a political conversation with a group liberal and conservatives, I will get cut off.  I'm not saying all liberals are like this.  Meg, for one, is definitely not this way, and I LOVE that about her :)  People make assumptions about me all the time too.  There is a group that just started at EMU called the Student Women's Association.  They encouraged feminists, non-feminists, female and male alike to all come and talk about women's issues.  I was interested in going, being that I am one of the few non-feminists at EMU.  I wanted to hear what people believed, what they were hoping to accomplish with this group amongst many other things.  A guy friend of mine asked if I was going, and I was thinking about how to tell him that I kind of wanted to go, but wasn't sure if it was actually going to really be accepting of all views, and before I could say that, another girl goes, "No she's not.  Janelle isn't a feminist."  Well, okay, yeah, that's true, but it's not true that I wasn't going to go.  But then I didn't go.  The least she could have done was say something like, "Oh, Janelle, you should come! It would interesting to hear your thoughts on feminism."  I guess they'll never know.  I hope someone represented my views that night... but it's very doubtful. 
        3.  Most importantly, it made me realize how much I really appreciate Aletheia, and I know now more of why I do now.  Yes, if I had to guess, the church as a whole probably leans towards the right purely because of how outreach oriented they are.  I really love that about Aletheia.  But, I also love how they put GOD first in their church.  Not Obama, not congress, not what bill is about to be passed that we do or don't want to succeed.  They dive into scripture and focus on GOD and what He wants for us -- how we are supposed to act and treat each other with LOVE.  They go through the BIBLE and say it how it is, not how they WANT it to be.  They don't stretch scripture to try swing your political alliances the other way.

Okay.
I'd better be going to class now.

I just want to leave you with a challenge to truly listen to one another, no matter how different we may be.

Gentleman

I've been doing a lot of thinking about what qualities I think the "perfect man" possesses.  Sure, there are multiple reasons I shouldn't do this -- He probably doesn't exist, and if he did, I probably don't deserve him.  Regardless, I have made a fairly long list of qualities I want my future husband to posses.  Aside from any quality that relates to humor or Christianity, I've realized that this person I've described is essentially Darcy.  I think I may have been born a couple hundred years too late.  I wish I lived in a world where almost every man was a true gentleman. 


I found this list of 10 qualities of a 21 century gentleman which I agree with for the most part.  There are just subtle things that I would change.  So to any male readers out there, which I really doubt I have any, feel free to read this and take it to heart.  


To end, I just want to say that I love it when a guy knows how to dress himself  :)

Questions

        Stressed during Christmas break?  That's exactly what I am.  I am stressed and it's Christmas break.  "Why are you stressed, Janelle?" you might ask.  That's a great question.
        Life is stressing me out.  It's so big and important and half the time, I feel like I'm not ready for it.  I need to start looking for a summer job.  I have three options.  I can work somewhere to make money, I can volunteer, or I can work at a camp.  Which do I choose?  Money would be nice, considering that I go to a private university that is by no means cheap.  Would it be fulfilling?  Probably not, but I guess there could be jobs out there that I really feel like I am doing God's will.  But what would that be?  I don't know.
        Volunteering.  Oh boy. I feel like this is the hardest one, and not because of the lack of money.  I just want to leave.  I want out of Harrisonburg for a while.  So if I were to leave, I would have to find an organization or place to volunteer with that I feel I can support.  I would also either have to rent, which I definitely don't have money for, or live with friends and relatives, and I'm not the kind of person that feels comfortable asking for lodging, especially for an extended period like a summer.  I would feel like such a mooch.  So that leaves camp.
        I've always had a heart for summer camps.  I went to Highland Retreat growing up and have made some great friends and had great experiences through that.  I found out a lot about my relationship with Christ and how I best grow with Him through camp.  I even got baptized at Highland.  But I feel myself getting restless in and around Harrisonburg.  I didn't get away for college, so I really want to get away this summer, and camp would be an easy way to do that.  There are Christian camps all over the US.  So... Where to go?  I have two friends who worked at River Valley Ranch in Maryland, but could I actually do a whole summer around horses? (For those of you who don't know, Janelle + horses = hives.)  Also, by looking at pictures, hearing stories and going to their website, RVR looks like a place where I would either absolutely love it, or just get really overwhelmed.  Am I willing to take that risk?  So, I looked up Mennonite Camps since I am Mennonite and went to Highland my whole life.  I feel like I know what to expect at least a little.  But they all sound the same.  Where is a good fit for me?  Where can I not just be a catalyst in helping others grow in Christ, but grow in Christ myself?
        Oh.  I guess I also have the option for missions, but that requires money that I do not have.  Plus, I can go to Atmore, AL for free :)
        So... If you have the answers to any of these questions, by all means, please let me know.

New Blog

So, I may or may not know one of my Christmas/birthday presents...  Since I'm getting a camera, I thought what better way to share my pictures than to make a photography blog?  That's just what I did. You can find it here.
I'm not promising that it will be updated very often, especially since I'm certainly not a photography major and am not taking any classes.  This is just for my own enjoyment.  If anyone wants to do a photo shoot, just let me know!  I love taking pictures of my friends since they are all rather beautiful :)

Change

I've had so many epiphanies recently.  I know change can be good.  I'm not a close-minded right wing... person... With that being said, if you don't know me, yes, I do lean to the right. Anywho, I'm not by any means saying I love change either.  What I have realized though, is that I don't want to change to be what someone wants or needs, and I certainly don't want them to change for me.  I am not going to compromise my beliefs and foundations and principles for a guy.  I want to be firmly rooted in my beliefs, and he should be too.