Ugh. College is stressful. I've been thinking a lot about this recently as I just finished the half way marker for my undergrad. There are things that I am definitely looking forward to in my last two years: Going on cross cultural next spring to the Middle East in my number one motivator to stay in school. Others include, but are not limited to, friends, choir, the occasional fun class, friends, voice lessons, friends, um... yup. Music and friends basically sum it all up for me. I know college isn't necessarily enjoyable for everyone. There are plenty of hard times, but there are also those rewarding times which for me, outweigh the hard.
But then I think about the degree that I will be getting: a B.A. in Music -- Vocal Performance. For those of you who know a thing or two about music, if you really want to have a job at all related to your degree, you need to go to grad school. I guess I should say what I really want to do music wise with my life. I would love love love to be an aria soloist with a symphony. I don't have enough acting experience to be an opera singer, but that too would be awesome. (I really really want to be the Queen of the Night from Mozart's Magic Flute.)
More than singing though, I want to be a mommy. For me, this most definitely involves being married first. There are just so many things I want to do. I just feel like I don't know what I'm supposed to do. If I'm going to be a mom soon (soon is a very relative term) should I even be pursuing a career in music? I want to be a stay at home mom, which just would not be possible as a soloist. There is a lot of traveling involved in this job, even if just for the weekends. I don't think I'd be okay with that while I had a family, but at the same time, it's something I'm really passionate about. But really, being a soloist and having a family just don't go together. And let's be honest. I'm at EMU. I'm a big fish in a teeny tiny itsy bitsy pond. I can't even imagine being thrown into Juilliard or Peabody or some other big conservatory. I feel like I would be eaten alive.
I would also love to help Aletheia plant a church. Ever since I started attending Aletheia, I have loved their passion for spreading the Gospel to college students. As a student, I definitely appreciate this, because I know how difficult, yet incredibly important it is to reach out to this age group. To avoid a long story, I didn't really want to go to school in Harrisonburg -- it just happened. And now I know that God had way bigger plans for me than I had made for myself. At first, I saw Church Planting as way to get out of Harrisonburg while spreading God's Word. That was pretty selfish of me to think though -- I would have been going for all the wrong reasons. But now, as I pray more and more about it, I really feel like going on a Church Plant is something the Lord is calling me to. I know that it would stretch my relationship with Christ and others in a way that nothing else ever could. I know there will be plenty of ups and downs, but it is something I really want to look into more.
But when I think of planting a church with Aletheia, I always picture myself going with my husband or future husband. He would be someone that I could depend on spiritually to help guide my footsteps. I don't know if I could move somewhere (probably Florida, seeing as how it is the next plant) as a single woman in her young 20's. I feel so inexperienced. I wouldn't know what to do by myself. Will I be willing to drop my life here in Harrisonburg to help plant a church in a place I don't know all by myself as a single woman? What can I offer to this new church in Gainesville?
You know what the beauty of it all is? I have time. But it would be great if someone (God) would smack me upside the face and tell me not to worry about the future. Matthew 6. I know, I know.
But then I think about the degree that I will be getting: a B.A. in Music -- Vocal Performance. For those of you who know a thing or two about music, if you really want to have a job at all related to your degree, you need to go to grad school. I guess I should say what I really want to do music wise with my life. I would love love love to be an aria soloist with a symphony. I don't have enough acting experience to be an opera singer, but that too would be awesome. (I really really want to be the Queen of the Night from Mozart's Magic Flute.)
More than singing though, I want to be a mommy. For me, this most definitely involves being married first. There are just so many things I want to do. I just feel like I don't know what I'm supposed to do. If I'm going to be a mom soon (soon is a very relative term) should I even be pursuing a career in music? I want to be a stay at home mom, which just would not be possible as a soloist. There is a lot of traveling involved in this job, even if just for the weekends. I don't think I'd be okay with that while I had a family, but at the same time, it's something I'm really passionate about. But really, being a soloist and having a family just don't go together. And let's be honest. I'm at EMU. I'm a big fish in a teeny tiny itsy bitsy pond. I can't even imagine being thrown into Juilliard or Peabody or some other big conservatory. I feel like I would be eaten alive.
I would also love to help Aletheia plant a church. Ever since I started attending Aletheia, I have loved their passion for spreading the Gospel to college students. As a student, I definitely appreciate this, because I know how difficult, yet incredibly important it is to reach out to this age group. To avoid a long story, I didn't really want to go to school in Harrisonburg -- it just happened. And now I know that God had way bigger plans for me than I had made for myself. At first, I saw Church Planting as way to get out of Harrisonburg while spreading God's Word. That was pretty selfish of me to think though -- I would have been going for all the wrong reasons. But now, as I pray more and more about it, I really feel like going on a Church Plant is something the Lord is calling me to. I know that it would stretch my relationship with Christ and others in a way that nothing else ever could. I know there will be plenty of ups and downs, but it is something I really want to look into more.
But when I think of planting a church with Aletheia, I always picture myself going with my husband or future husband. He would be someone that I could depend on spiritually to help guide my footsteps. I don't know if I could move somewhere (probably Florida, seeing as how it is the next plant) as a single woman in her young 20's. I feel so inexperienced. I wouldn't know what to do by myself. Will I be willing to drop my life here in Harrisonburg to help plant a church in a place I don't know all by myself as a single woman? What can I offer to this new church in Gainesville?
You know what the beauty of it all is? I have time. But it would be great if someone (God) would smack me upside the face and tell me not to worry about the future. Matthew 6. I know, I know.
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