Repetitive.

        I am a fairly repetitive person.  If you have been around me for any amount of time, you've probably heard the same stories 5,000 times over and over again.  My top one is probably Allegra's butt being bitten by a mouse.  If you haven't heard this story, you should ask me about it sometime.  It's pretty great.  But anyway, I think that this post is probably going to take a path that is typical for me.  I'm going to talk about God.  He is just SO incredible, and I love Him so much.
        One of the things that the leaders of Aletheia have said multiple times that has made me think is that we should always be all about God -- not all about a movement, a bill, a person, or a church.  It's not all about Aletheia.  I in no way put Aletheia on a pedestal higher, or anywhere near God.  It's not about Paul, our pastor, or even Paul, the apostle.  It's not about any new environment/sustainability bill, or MRI, or about TWLOHA.  I'm not saying that these are bad things, but we should NEVER EVER cast a shadow on God.  It is hard for me sometimes, I'll be super honest.  I'm just so pumped about Aletheia and what all they are doing -- planting churches in areas with unchurched college kids.  Sometimes I wonder if I am more pumped about the church than I am about God and His movement.  It's hard sometimes, especially when the thing that we are so excited about brings glory to God.  But there is no way that I can bring glory to God by bringing people to church to show them how awesome the church is, not how awesome God is.
        But I feel like so many times, EMU does not put God on the highest pedestal -- if He is even in the picture.  It's always so political.  It's always about the next cool movement is coming around.  I often get the feeling that people who want to get involved will go as far as to blindly sign any petition that comes around.  They want to make a difference in the world.  People see who is leading the movement at EMU and go, oh, yeah, I believe about the same thing she/he does.  I'll sign it!  I even think people go as far as to sign things just because their friends want them to.  Well, I'm sorry Rebekah, but if you had come up to me with an MRI petition, I would not have signed it for you. (I'm pretty sure she wouldn't be doing this though...)
        I remember one time getting legitimately angry at a girl during lunch.  She passed a petition at our table for MRI (Morally Responsible Investment).  I didn't sign it.  She asked me if I had already signed it, or why I wasn't signing it,  and I said no, I hadn't signed it and wasn't going to.  She asked why, and I told her that my main reason was that I don't ever want to sign anything that I don't know 100% what it is for.  Even if it was something that I did believe in, I still wouldn't have signed it.  Just because I am against abortion doesn't mean that I am going to sign every anti-abortion thing placed under my face.  I don't always know where exactly my support is going.  She then went on to, in about 2 sentences, tell me what MRI was all about.  I still didn't follow completely/wasn't really paying attention, but I do know that it had to do with Israel/Palestine, and I know that I don't want an American's opinion on the situation.  I just really don't know where I stand on the issue because honestly, I don't really know everything that is going on in the Middle East.  So, I tried to politely turn it down, and she kind of scowled at me, rolled her eyes, and said, "I probably shouldn't say this, but I head this one time and really like it.  Those who don't get involved are supporting the oppressor."  Well, I don't really know who the oppressor is in this situation.  Israel thinks it's Palestine, and vice versa.
        I think that instead of signing petitions for a situation we can't truly have a grasp on, we should pray.  We should pray for God to intervene in the way He wants to.  I don't know.  It's late and this is, as always, a very scattered post.
        EMU has a lot of clubs on campus, just like any other university.  Sadly though, we have more political clubs than Christian... I just think it's crazy that we don't have more about God or less about other things.  Do we really think God should rule our lives?  Or should the environment?  Do you get more mad when you see someone throw a recyclable bottle away, or when an hour goes by without talking about Christ?  I don't even want to know the percentage of time spent at dinner talking about the environment over God.
        Well, I think that we should make a difference by spreading God's Word.  Sure, if we other respectable things in the meantime, that's great.  But our main goal, as clearly laid out by Christ, is making Him known to all peoples.  The great commission.
        "Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go.  When they saw Him, they worshiped Him; but some doubted.  Then Jesus came to them and said, 'All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.  Therefore, go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.  And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.'" --Matthew 28:16-20
      
        Side note -- Can Elmwood please put a paper towel dispenser in our bathroom??  I have nothing at all against air dryers, but you can't really wipe off a wet counter with one...

Purity

I really hope that this post challenges you.  I hope that I somehow get more readers than the few friends of mine at EMU who also blog.  This is for everyone.  Men/women.  Married/single.  Young/old.  It is definitely for me too. 

It's the day after Valentine's Day which I dislike for many reasons, none of which actually include the fact that I am single.  I told Rebekah that I was going to write a post about my pet peeves of relationships and how there are certain things that seem so normal in a relationship that I don't want in mine and that I want to be held accountable for.  After yet another wonderful Bible Study with my girls at Aletheia, I have a much better post in mind. 


Have you ever completely had your views rocked?  There are a few things I think most people know about me. First off, I'd love to think that everyone knows I am a Christian.  I try my hardest to be a genuine Christian as well.  Along with being a Christian, a lot of people know from either me freely talking about it, or from people asking why I wear a ring on my left ring finger but am not engaged, that I have chosen to remain sexually pure for my husband and for Christ. 


Sexual purity sounds pretty great to me.  What more could you want from your future spouse?  Well.  I can name a few other areas we need to be pure.  And let me tell you.  Sexual purity seems so easy compared to the other three I am going to tell you about.  I will be the first to admit that I am not pure, but I now know what I need to work on.  


So I'll start on my easy one.  Body.  Sexuality.  However, this very well could be someone's hardest category.  This does not just pertain to sex though.  I can't put it any better than Lauren did tonight.  She said it is, "any physical act pertaining to any form of sexuality outside marriage."  Maybe this is easy for me because I don't have a boyfriend.  I am not kissing someone on a regular basis (or at all) in a way that would make me question my boundaries.  I have thought more about the future because of this though.  How far will I be willing to go with a boyfriend?  Break ups happen.  While I would love to think that my first boyfriend will turn into my husband, that just can't be guaranteed.  I know that especially in this world, this thought can sound crazy, but what if I don't want to kiss my boyfriend?  I want to be as pure as possible for my future husband, even if it means not kissing him when he is my boyfriend.  Is kissing other boys pure?  Nope.  Not really.  Of course, this is something which he will have a say in too.  


Heart.  Our heart encompasses our affections, emotions, desires, and passions.  Let's be honest.  Girls typically are more emotional and emotionally involved than men.  This is a struggle for a lot of people.  It's so easy to stay up late talking to someone who is not our betrothed.  It's easy to become involved intimately with someone that we shouldn't.  Honestly, this one doesn't effect me that terribly much.  I think most of the guys that I am really good friends with are purely platonic friendships.  I don't have enough fingers to count how many boys I view as my brothers.  I don't necessarily even mean brother in Christ (which they are too) but just brother. They're like family to me and I'm pretty sure it's something they think too.  I think virtually all of my guy friends know that, if nothing else, our differing of opinions is enough to make a relationship not work out.  I know that nothing will happen between us, so I don't emotionally attach myself to guy friends of mine in a way that I shouldn't.  I know it is hard for some people though, and most likely will be for me too when I gain some nice Christian male friends who are conservative. 


Okay.  These two go in order for me.  Mind.  Oh man.  This one is definitely a struggle that I never knew I had.  This is our understanding and thoughts.  It's our impulse thought.  What do I think about as I brush my teeth in the evening? Or when I am standing at the stir fry station making some eggs for breakfast?  I can tell you that it's probably not God.  My problem is that when I really get to know guys, I find out that they're not right for me, and I move on.  It's when I'm getting to know someone that this whole mind issue occurs.  I make scenarios in my head.  I think, "Oh, well, he's like this and this and this, which is great, because I do this, and so this can work out..."  I don't actually know these things about a guy.  I just make this awesome guy in my head that to this day hasn't been right. It's just this horrible future of what Janelle thinks is best for her life.  I'm sure that God has belly laughed at some of my thoughts and plans for my future.  


Soul.  I always thought that this one was easy too.  Everyone's heard stories of people selling their soul to the devil, whether it was to gain a golden fiddle, or to play Paganini.  Funny how both of those examples have to do with playing the violin... Haha.  Anyway, I've heard time and time again never to date a non-believer, or in a term that I found hilarious, flirt-to-convert.  It's a no no.  You just don't do it.  It's more than that though.  It's spiritual compromise.  It's going to a church or church function in hopes of meeting your future spouse.  I will be the first to admit that it has crossed my mind a time or two that I could meet my future husband at Aletheia and how completely convenient that would be.  We would have similar beliefs.  We probably would both be passionate about spreading the gospel and might be involved in an Aletheia church plant!  But, I mean, I know that I don't want my future husband going to church for the intention of finding a "nice Christian girl" and I shouldn't either, for a boy, of course.  Church is for God.  My life is for God. 


My challenge for you is to think about how much you would be okay with your future spouse to have done with their exes, or even friends.  It's really making me think about my friendships with my brothers in Christ.  Maybe it's not okay to be texting my guy friends random things that don't really matter throughout the day.  I don't want my future husband to be doing that.  I don't want him staying up late talking to a girl on a deep level.  I don't want him sending other girls cute messages or notes.  I need to get back in the habit of journaling to my future husband.  It's a great way to funnel all those those thoughts in a positive way. 


Think of everyone as being your sibling in Christ.  Do it. 

Needs

I have so much to do and so little time to do it.

I need to do my homework.
I need to learn repertoire.
I need to hang out with friends.
I need time for sleep.
I need to find a boyfriend.

Woah, woah, woah.  That was a false statement.  I realized tonight how out of wack my priorities have been in my life.  Yes.  I want nothing more in life than to be a great mom married to a fantastic man who form a family fulfilling God's will.  After Bible study tonight though, I realized not only have I not met anyone that I honestly think is what I need in a relationship, but I'm not at the point in my life either.  I am not in a point in my relationship with Christ where I am ready for a distraction.  Yes.  That is what a boyfriend would be.  He'd be a huge distraction in my walk with Christ in all honesty.

I want Christ to be the center of all I do.  It's a goal that will never be met.  If you reach it somehow, please, by all means, let me know how you did it.  I know that I need to share this goal with my future husband.  I need someone who can walk with Christ with me.  Someone who can push me when I feel tired.  Someone who interprets the Bible the way I do. Someone who believes that every. word. is. Truth.

Someone who is always excited about Christ and what He is doing in their lives and the lives of those around them.  Someone who will be the kind of husband the Bible clearly lays out.  Someone who is on fire for Christ.  Someone who will blow me away with his love and deep relationship with God.

What I really need to do is completely and wholly devote my life to Christ.  As I just turned 20 this week, I have decided that this Saturday, I am going to spend 20% of my day (since I've lived roughly 20% of my life and I am 20. It works out...) with Christ in prayer, scripture, and thought.  I'm sure there will be a blog to follow.

In Christ's love,
Janelle.