Convicting

I've been "reading" the book Vintage Jesus by Mark Driscoll for quite some time now... I brought it along on my family vacation and decided to actually read read it.  This book has a question for each chapter, and then Driscoll breaks it all down, backing everything up with sound theology and scripture.  Chapter four is called "Why did Jesus come to Earth?"  This chapter talks a lot about the tri-perspective of Jesus, Jesus the Priest, Jesus the Prophet, and Jesus the King.  I thought that it was awesome that I was reading this chapter while in the middle of studying Hebrews with Jeremy.  Hebrews is the book that covers the priestly role of Jesus most.  Anyway, there are a couple pages talking about each side of Jesus, priest, prophet and king which were all insightful and enlightening.  Then came the convicting part.

While reading this, it is easy to understand how all three need to be represented for Jesus to be wholly Him.  However, do each of us truly emphasize every aspect of Him?  Here is how Driscoll breaks it down:

Prophet + King - Priest = Jesus of Fundamentalism
Fundamentalist Christians who are prone to legalism, moralism, and a general lack of love, grace, mercy or patience are often the product of a deficient understanding of Jesus as priest.  The strength of fundamentalism is its keen awareness of Jesus' prophetic role as bold truth-teller and commander of repentance, along with his role as king who rules and reigns in all authority.  However, they are also prone not to appreciate fully the priestly role of Jesus.  As a result, God seems primarily cold, distant, stern, harsh,m and even cruel.  Their Jesus sits on a throne far away and yells at us but never gets off that throne to help.  He's just sitting there, disappointed, waiting for us to mess up.  In short, this is a God that we are more prone to run away from than toward in our time of need.  The result of this error is either despair or pride, but not worship, humility, or joy.  Because God is a boss who yells at us, this form of religion traps us into a cycle where if we think we're doing well, we get proud, and if we think we're doing poorly, we get depressed.  At no point do we receive loving help because Jesus is not fully valued as a priest.

Prophet + Priest - King = Jesus of Evangelicalism
The curious fact of modern evangelicalism is that there is both a general assent to basic Christian truths, and a moral life that is virtually indistinguishable from the average non-Christian in areas such as sexual sin. Researchers such as George Barna have built entire ministries quantifying these facts statistically.  Why does this happen? Becuase the role of Jesus as king is apparently diminished or dismissed.
In this form of religion, people know that Jesus speaks the truth as their prophet and loves them as their priest.  So when they sin, they know that Jesus will forgive them and still love them.  But they still rule over their own life.  When they need help, they read the Bible or ask Jesus to serve them.  Practically, they don't see Jesus ruling over them, but rather coming alongside them to help them achieve their objectives.  He is only allowed to do so when He is invited.  The result is a double-life of hypocrisy in which we call Jesus Lord, call His Word true, and then do whatever we want in some areas of our life because the pants are mine, the money is mine, the we browser is mine, the food is mine, the alcohol is mine, the schedule is mind, the life is mine, and the glory is mine, and I will rule as king over aspects of my own life with Jesus as little more than my trusty assistant.

Priest + King - Prophet = Jesus of Liberalism
Liberal Christianity is prone to understanding Jesus as our priest, who is filled with grace, love, mercy, and tolerant patience, as well as our king, who rules over all peoples and seeks to extend them to grace, love and mercy.  However, the weakness of typical liberal Christianity is that it fails to fully appreciate Jesus as prophet.  The sad result is that Jesus is seen as someone who would never offend us, raise His voice, hurt our feelings, speak harshly, or command individuals to repent with a sense of urgency because His is only infinitely patient, tolerant, and understanding.
By way of illustration, I recall a conversation I once had with a liberal Christian pastor who was president of a large network of liberal churches.  He told me that a pastor should never say anything that would offend anyone because the only way we offend someone is when we speak out of a place of pride.  I asked him if Jesus was therefore guilty of the sin of pride because many people were furious with Him to the degree that they shouted, "Crucify Him!"  Seeing he was on the horns of a dilemma, he agreed that Jesus was both the most humble person who has ever lived and did say some things that His hearers considered harsh because of their prophetic edge.  Jesus sometimes spoke tenderly as a priest, but He also spoke tersely as a prophet to ensure that the sword of truth was removed from its scabbard and wielded with full force.
When Jesus is not seen as prophet, sinful beliefs and behaviors are blessed because to speak the truth and command repentance would require a prophetic voice.  Subsequently, liberal Christianity is mired in such things as homosexuality and universalism, as if every sexual practice and every religious belief were acceptable in the eyes of Jesus.

Jesus came to the earth to reveal Himself to us as our prophet who speaks to us, priest who walks with us, and king who rules over us.  Jesus' ministry continues today and His roles are the same yesterday, today, and forever.  For the three offices of Jesus to be of the greatest benefit to us, we must humbly ask God to reveal to us which aspect of Jesus' ministry we are most likely to misunderstand or even ignore and read Scripture with a humble heart seeking to see Jesus in the fullness of His glory.

(Driscoll, Mark. Vintage Jesus. Wheaton: Crossway. 2007. 82-84.)

I would challenge you to think about which category you might fit under, and really understand the importance of each of Jesus' ministries.  I know for me, it was really convicting to realize that I under appreciate one of these aspects.  However, now that I have had it so blatantly pointed out to me, I know how I can be working on my understanding and relationship of Christ. 

Human

Human.  It is what I am.  I am a human.  With this comes many faults.  I fall short in so many areas of my life.  I was rereading my blog just a few minutes ago because I wanted to find a certain entry that I will probably end up showing someone, but that is beside the point.  While reading, I see all these promises for new posts which never happened and probably never will happen.  I said I was going to write more about Reflect. That didn't happen.  Denominations?  Nope.  That didn't happen either!  So, if anyone really wants me to write about either of those, I will.  Granted, if it's about Reflect, I'll have to find all my notes and re-process everything.  But that could be a very good thing for me to do anyway...

Anyway, it's crazy though, seeing some of my posts and being like, "Woah! I was thinking about that that long ago??"  I have had a lot of "new" ideas recently, but they apparently aren't new at all.  I guess things are just becoming way more real in my life.  Things that I thought would be cool if they happened actually look like they may actually happen.  It's almost like before, I was merely dreaming of the future, and now God is giving me nudges in that direction.  I can't say what the future will hold -- no one can.  However, I am, once again, very excited to see the way God is moving in my life.  And I am becoming more and more willing every day to turn everything over to Him.  I want nothing more in my life right now than for everything to be completely out of my hands and into His.  

hum.

I know, I said that I would write more about the Aletheia REFLECT conference... and I will... sometime. But not right now :)

Anyway, this past weekend was great.  I got to meet a lot of awesome people that go to Aletheia through various events and just at church.  Most of them happened to be guys.  While I talked to each of them, naturally the question of "what's your major?" came up every time.  Everyone without fail asked me what I wanted to do with my major.  I. Don't. Know.  haha. I normally can tell people that I just don't want to teach, and they let it go at that.  Not people at Aletheia! They always ask 5,000 questions about things, which is pretty great.  (I actually really love that about people.)  It just makes it hard when you don't know what you want to do with your life.  So I told a bunch of people that I pretty much just wanted to be a mom.  Afterward, I was like, hummm... Maybe that can be sort of intimidating to a guy... for a girl to be like, "Hey! I'm Janelle.  I want to be a mom. Oh, and, in case you didn't know, I'm single!" ...not that I was advertising that I was single... Whelpsk. anyway...  I promise my next post will neither be this lame or... something... :)

Work

For the first time in my life, I have a summer job -- other than babysitting.  I'm two days into it, and I really don't know if I am cut out for it.  I've only had the crash course in running and hosting so far, and hosting is a piece of cake.  But I feel like I don't understand the running, mainly cause the guy who trained me is really chill and has only worked there for like, 2 weeks.  Basically, he didn't really know what he was doing either.  Also, if you know me, you know that I don't drink, and I probably won't when I am 21 either.  Therefore, I don't know my liquors, mixed drinks or brands of alcohol.  We have to know every kind of alcohol that they carry.  How am I supposed to learn that? I have a test on Friday. Pass fail. haha. Something tells me I'm going to fail.

Plus, all my coworkers talk about is sex and getting smashed.  Once again, two things that I can not relate to, nor do I want to.  People ask off on Sunday mornings, but it's not to go to church.  It's to nurse their hangovers.  I know that this would be a great place to try to bring people to Christ, but I already feel like everyone thinks I'm lame cause I don't smoke, drink, cuss and hook up with random people (well, anyone.)  

One good thing, is this is really making me appreciate my awesome friends.  It seems like a lot of the workers only have their coworkers as friends.  One of the kids just turned 21 today (well, tomorrow... they're going out at midnight) so most everyone is going drinking with him.  I was like, man.  I'm so glad that I have legit friends who I can hang out with and not drink.  I dunno.  This job is just already stressing me out.  I'm sure I'd be fine if I only got customers like my family, but I know that's not going to be the case. 

Anyway.

Time to go read the Bible, cause I'm reading through it chronologically this summer with some 50 + cool kids from Aletheia :)

REFLECT pt. 1

These past few days I was in Richmond with my fellow "Aletheians" as Matt Light likes to put it. For those of you who don't know, Aletheia (which means 'Truth') is the church I attend.  It was started 10 years ago by a father son duo, Dave and Aaron Proffitt.  (Whenever I talked about the Proffitts, my mom thought I was saying 'prophets' and was quite skeptical...)  They both have a heart for missions and church planting, especially in college cities.  I don't really know how, but they decided to move from California all the way to JMU in good ol' Harrisonburg, VA.  Since then, 3 churches have been planted in the USA (Virginia Commonwealth, Old Dominion, and University of South Florida) with a 4th (University of Florida) on its way.

We had 5 sessions where we heard from all the lead pastors:

Session 1:  The Church & its Message, Ephesians 1 &2 - Josh Soto, Richmond VA
Session 2:  The Church as a Mystery, Ephesians 3 - Dave Proffitt, Tampa FL
Session 3:  The Church & its Mission, Ephesians 4 - Paul Fiske, Harrisonburg, VA
Session 4:  The Church & its Maturity, Ephesians 5-6:9 - Aaron Proffitt, Tampa FL
Session 5:  The Church & its Spiritual Morale, Ephesians 6:10-24 - Jamie Limato, Norfolk VA

Right from the bat, I was once again struck by Aletheia's ability to keep everything focused on God.  The pastors each went up and spoke straight from God.  They had no agenda to push except Jesus.  I'll get to it later when I talk about AP's session, but they really all demonstrated that if it isn't furthering God's kingdom, there is no need to even be talking about it.

I learned so much more about myself, things I need to work on in my life, and my relationship with Christ at this conference than I did at both the Mennonite Conventions combined.  Maybe it's because I am growing stronger in my faith since I started going to Aletheia, but I somehow, I doubt it.  I mean, at Aletheia's sessions, we talked about Christ and how we can further His kingdom.  We used our Bibles (woah). We didn't have a "Christian magician" for a session, or have a dialogue between those who think homosexuality in the church is okay, and those who don't.  Everything at REFLECT was upfront, blunt, and true.  I'm not out to bash Mennonites, but Aletheia works for me.  I like how it is black and white; nonnegotiable.  The Bible is God's Word, and God is Truth.  It is what it is.  Aletheia doesn't blur lines by obscuring Bible verses to make them try to say what they want them to.

I love the passion that everyone has for people they don't know.  It has changed me in big ways.  For instance, I was driving on the outskirts of Harrisonburg today, and I stopped at a stop sign, then pulled out onto the new road.  The speed limit was 45, which I quickly got to because there was a rather large SUV speeding up behind me.  They proceeded to pass me where it was quite illegal to, drove half a mile, then pulled into an apartment complex.  I wanted so badly to follow them and invite them to church tomorrow.  Ya know?  I don't know if they were Christians or not, and that was the first thing I thought of.  I wanted them to be saved.  I wanted them to have this awesome salvation which is available for them.  It also has made me hyper aware of my friends now and past friends who aren't Christians.  Before, I've had this mindset of, "Oh, well, if God wants them to be Christians, then someone more equipped will surely come along and guide them."  No, Janelle.  That's not okay.  I have more than enough resources to do something, even if it is as simple as praying for them every day.  So that's precisely what I'm going to do.  I wrote their names out on a piece of paper which I put by my bed so I will remember to pray for them in the mornings when I wake up and at night when I go to sleep, and in the afternoons when I take an occasional nap (which is really quite often.)

Wow, I got really off topic from where I wanted to go.  Oh well.  I guess I'll have 5 more posts on Reflect having to do with the 5 sessions that I have not talked about yet.

Another thing that made this so awesome was the people.  God has put some pretty amazing people into the Aletheia network.  He's doing crazy awesome stuff in them too.  I'm excited about seeing those people again next year, or if or when I visit various Aletheias.  I'm also super excited about getting to know some of the Harrisonburg people I barely knew, or did know at all, over the summer.

I'll be sure to post links to the podcasts if they are making podcasts for everyone to hear the sessions.  And as always, let me know if you want to come to church -- I'm always available to give rides :)

Degree

Ugh.  College is stressful.  I've been thinking a lot about this recently as I just finished the half way marker for my undergrad.  There are things that I am definitely looking forward to in my last two years:  Going on cross cultural next spring to the Middle East in my number one motivator to stay in school.  Others include, but are not limited to, friends, choir, the occasional fun class, friends, voice lessons, friends, um... yup. Music and friends basically sum it all up for me.  I know college isn't necessarily enjoyable for everyone.  There are plenty of hard times, but there are also those rewarding times which for me, outweigh the hard.

But then I think about the degree that I will be getting:  a B.A. in Music -- Vocal Performance.  For those of you who know a thing or two about music, if you really want to have a job at all related to your degree, you need to go to grad school.  I guess I should say what I really want to do music wise with my life.  I would love love love to be an aria soloist with a symphony.  I don't have enough acting experience to be an opera singer, but that too would be awesome. (I really really want to be the Queen of the Night from Mozart's Magic Flute.)

More than singing though, I want to be a mommy.  For me, this most definitely involves being married first.  There are just so many things I want to do.  I just feel like I don't know what I'm supposed to do.  If I'm going to be a mom soon (soon is a very relative term) should I even be pursuing a career in music? I want to be a stay at home mom, which just would not be possible as a soloist.  There is a lot of traveling involved in this job, even if just for the weekends.  I don't think I'd be okay with that while I had a family, but at the same time, it's something I'm really passionate about.  But really, being a soloist and having a family just don't go together.  And let's be honest.  I'm at EMU.  I'm a big fish in a teeny tiny itsy bitsy pond.  I can't even imagine being thrown into Juilliard or Peabody or some other big conservatory.  I feel like I would be eaten alive.

I would also love to help Aletheia plant a church.  Ever since I started attending Aletheia, I have loved their passion for spreading the Gospel to college students.  As a student, I definitely appreciate this, because I know how difficult, yet incredibly important it is to reach out to this age group.  To avoid a long story, I didn't really want to go to school in Harrisonburg -- it just happened.  And now I know that God had way bigger plans for me than I had made for myself.  At first, I saw Church Planting as way to get out of Harrisonburg while spreading God's Word.  That was pretty selfish of me to think though -- I would have been going for all the wrong reasons. But now, as I pray more and more about it, I really feel like going on a Church Plant is something the Lord is calling me to.  I know that it would stretch my relationship with Christ and others in a way that nothing else ever could.  I know there will be plenty of ups and downs, but it is something I really want to look into more.

But when I think of planting a church with Aletheia, I always picture myself going with my husband or future husband.  He would be someone that I could depend on spiritually to help guide my footsteps.  I don't know if I could move somewhere (probably Florida, seeing as how it is the next plant) as a single woman in her young 20's.  I feel so inexperienced.  I wouldn't know what to do by myself.  Will I be willing to drop my life here in Harrisonburg to help plant a church in a place I don't know all by myself as a single woman?  What can I offer to this new church in Gainesville?

You know what the beauty of it all is? I have time.  But it would be great if someone (God) would smack me upside the face and tell me not to worry about the future.  Matthew 6. I know, I know.

Offended

I am offended.  EMU has a lot of diversity.  While yes, we are a Christian institution, we have many people of other faiths in attendance.  Our Center for Justice and Peacebuilding is especially diverse.  I'm sure some of you want to smack me right now for not being open minded, but don't.  I'm not offended that we have diversity.  I'm offended that we're okay with taming our Jesus as to not offend people who aren't Christians.

One very obvious way that I see this is in our twice a week chapels.  On Wednesday, the goal is to have more scripturally based teaching, where as on Fridays, it is more relaxed and based on social issues.  I was talking to a campus pastor about this, and how it really bothered me.  He made it seem like there wasn't much that we could do.  We are supposed to cater to all types of people that attend our school.  We need to represent all views.

I'm sorry, but no.  No we do not.  As a Christian school, we need to be preaching the Gospel -- the Good News of Christ.  Paul is one of my favorite authors.  He is upfront, blatant and honest.  In Galatians 1, he talks about No Other Gospel.  He says,

I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting the one who called you by the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel-- which is really no gospel at all.  Evidently, some people are throwing you into confusion and are trying to pervert the gospel of Christ.  But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach a gospel other than the one we preached to you, let him be eternally condemned! As we have already said, so now I say again: If anybody is preaching to you a gospel other than what you accepted, let him be eternally condemned! Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ. (Galatians 1:6-10)

Are we too eager to loose sight of the teachings Christ has given us?  I think that the last verse especially hits home for EMU.  We are so eager to please men, even if it means that we loose our objective -- to spread the word of God.  We can't be okay being friends with those of different faiths without showing them the one and only Truth.

Today is Easter.  It is arguably the biggest Christian holiday.  Jesus fought death and won.  The grave has nothing on my Jesus.  He remained on earth for a while after His resurrection, seeing people, showing His wounds, thus making them believe.  The last recorded thing in the gospel according to Matthew is the Great Commission.  Most Christians would agree that this is one of the most important thing Jesus tells us. He says,

All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.  Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.  And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.

This is His last piece of advise He gives us.  It is clearly defined what we are supposed to do.  We are supposed to go.  Make disciples of all nations, not just those who seem open to it at first.  We can't just throw out the Truth in a sentence and let people pry if they want to know more.  We have to be surrounding them with the gospel.

Anyway, I have a bunch of vocal pedagogy I need to get done. so. yup.

Summer Goals

Here are some summer goals of mine... just in case you were wondering.  They are in no specific order at all.

Learn some more violin! I have one... so I should probably learn how to play it.
Learn some oboe. I think it will be a much easier endeavor since I already know flute.
Learn a kick a** Italian aria (as James keeps saying...)
Research said aria for assessment next fall -- one less thing for me to do during the semester!
Learn some more Wolf music. Love that man!

Grow my hair enough to cut it for locks of love... ya know... since I have the power and authority to do that...

Become more involved at Aletheia -- get to know more people.
Finish reading the New Testament.

Read in general.

Compile recipes for our awesome apartment next year... I can't wait to live with Ruth and Becca, and whoever our 4th person may be. haha.

Not be a lazy bum.
Get a job.



Ya know....

Just be.

Vintage

If you're a bird, I'm a bird.

I love The Notebook, as should everyone.  I just finished watching it with Meg and Amanda-Grace.  I am now sitting on my floor thinking about how I have to read a chapter in Vocal Pedagogy and do the questions at the end of the chapter, but I just have no motivation.  I was talking to some friends about what classes we put forth the most effort, and we came to a general consensus that it was for classes where we respected our teachers -- ones where we could tell that they put forth effort in their lessons and thought about ways to best help everyone. Sadly, Vocal Ped is just not one of those classes.  I have very little interest in the subject to start with, but then having an unorganized structure doesn't help either.  We only meet once a week, and those days, we just talk about the chapter that we read from our $93 "textbook" which is a 200 page soft cover book.  We answer nonsense questions at the end of chapters that basically prove that we read (or can pick out bold words).

I'm thinking that if I could do anything right now, I'd be reading Mark Driscoll's Vintage Jesus.  It's been a really great book so far.  While so far, I've know basically everything he's written about, I like his outlook.  Mark puts subjects and ideas that would typically see mundane and make them interesting and exciting.  I definitely would recommend this book even though I've only finished chapter 3.  Too bad I can't use that as an excuse... "Sorry, James.  I was reading about Jesus so I didn't do my homework."

haha.

I would probably get kicked out of the music department... or at least get a 0% on that homework.

Sad.

Plans

Fact of life: Plans change.

        I had an epic idea for a blog post, but it was 5 minutes before I had to leave for class and assumed that I would be able to remember it when I got back. Well, I can't remember.
When I was a little girl, I wanted to be a vet just because I loved animals.  I wanted to be around them all the time.  I then grew up more and realized that I really don't enjoy chemistry and I wouldn't be able to put an animal down.  Around that time, I was developing my love of singing.  I had an awesome plan then to go to the Juilliard School of Music, major in vocal performance, and move to Italy as a missionary.  Looking back on that plan, I'm sure God was laughing at me.  Did I really want to spread His ministry?  No.  I wanted to study at an Italian Opera School.  Looking back, I can't believe that I ever thought it could work out.  God wasn't calling me to do that.  I was calling myself. 

        This week, my college choir toured around the Mennonite hot spots in the Midwestish areas (Kalona, Goshen, Ohio, and Pa) for all of Spring Break.  We spent all but one night in host homes.  My most meaningful and probably favorite night was spent with Kelley in Goshen.  We were with an older couple who shared their very cute story of their path to finding love again.  They were newlyweds of 5 years.  They were both so sweet and caring and I could tell that they genuinely cared about us.

        Kelley and I were asked the typical questions such as our grade, where we were from, who our parents are, and what we are majoring in.  After I told them I was a Vocal Performance major, I received the typical follow up question of what I wanted to do with my major... Teach?  Even though it's not always true, I typically say that I want to be a soloist for symphonic works.  It's an easy response.  Most people feel they don't know enough about classical music to press any further than that.  I don't know why I didn't just tell them this because I typically don't like it when the conversation revolves around me.  I told them though that I was really unsure of what I wanted to do.  I know I don't want to teach.  I know that I want to glorify God and spread His word.  I told them a lot about Aletheia Church and how it was a huge step for me to attend a church that isn't Mennonite. AH! Now I remember -- I was going to blog about denominations.  Another time...  Anyway, I told them about how I was thinking about picking up a Church Music major.  About how I wanted to help plant Churches.  Sure, the thought had crossed my mind a few times, and I've even been praying on the sly about it, but I never expected to hear those words come out of my mouth.  I even went so far as to talk about relationships and how I wasn't in one, but how I wanted to wait and make sure that I was dating a Godly man.  I shared about how I wanted him to have a driving passion for church planting as well -- How he will guide me spiritually as I submit to him, but ultimately to God.  I wanted to make sure that he will always put God first, and that we would not hesitate as a couple to follow the will of Jesus.   

        I was surprised about half the things I said.  They were things that I had thought some about, but kind of pushed them in the back of my mind.  Our host parents were very attentive when listening to my story and were very encouraging.  He said he had a son who worked in Seattle for a church and was moving to Chicago to help plant a church in a very similar way Aletheia does.  I asked if the church by any chance was Mars Hill, and he looked a little surprised that I knew of the church and said yes.  That's just a little fun fact for you.  Anyway, it was just such an awesome home stay.  I felt like God was laying it on my heart to say all those things to them.  The whole thing was just so encouraging to me.  I know that I am at the right place.  Any place is the right place.  God can use me no matter what my major is or where I am going to school.

        So where is God leading me? Answer?  I'm not really sure, but I do know that I can't wait to see what He has in store for me after college. 

Repetitive.

        I am a fairly repetitive person.  If you have been around me for any amount of time, you've probably heard the same stories 5,000 times over and over again.  My top one is probably Allegra's butt being bitten by a mouse.  If you haven't heard this story, you should ask me about it sometime.  It's pretty great.  But anyway, I think that this post is probably going to take a path that is typical for me.  I'm going to talk about God.  He is just SO incredible, and I love Him so much.
        One of the things that the leaders of Aletheia have said multiple times that has made me think is that we should always be all about God -- not all about a movement, a bill, a person, or a church.  It's not all about Aletheia.  I in no way put Aletheia on a pedestal higher, or anywhere near God.  It's not about Paul, our pastor, or even Paul, the apostle.  It's not about any new environment/sustainability bill, or MRI, or about TWLOHA.  I'm not saying that these are bad things, but we should NEVER EVER cast a shadow on God.  It is hard for me sometimes, I'll be super honest.  I'm just so pumped about Aletheia and what all they are doing -- planting churches in areas with unchurched college kids.  Sometimes I wonder if I am more pumped about the church than I am about God and His movement.  It's hard sometimes, especially when the thing that we are so excited about brings glory to God.  But there is no way that I can bring glory to God by bringing people to church to show them how awesome the church is, not how awesome God is.
        But I feel like so many times, EMU does not put God on the highest pedestal -- if He is even in the picture.  It's always so political.  It's always about the next cool movement is coming around.  I often get the feeling that people who want to get involved will go as far as to blindly sign any petition that comes around.  They want to make a difference in the world.  People see who is leading the movement at EMU and go, oh, yeah, I believe about the same thing she/he does.  I'll sign it!  I even think people go as far as to sign things just because their friends want them to.  Well, I'm sorry Rebekah, but if you had come up to me with an MRI petition, I would not have signed it for you. (I'm pretty sure she wouldn't be doing this though...)
        I remember one time getting legitimately angry at a girl during lunch.  She passed a petition at our table for MRI (Morally Responsible Investment).  I didn't sign it.  She asked me if I had already signed it, or why I wasn't signing it,  and I said no, I hadn't signed it and wasn't going to.  She asked why, and I told her that my main reason was that I don't ever want to sign anything that I don't know 100% what it is for.  Even if it was something that I did believe in, I still wouldn't have signed it.  Just because I am against abortion doesn't mean that I am going to sign every anti-abortion thing placed under my face.  I don't always know where exactly my support is going.  She then went on to, in about 2 sentences, tell me what MRI was all about.  I still didn't follow completely/wasn't really paying attention, but I do know that it had to do with Israel/Palestine, and I know that I don't want an American's opinion on the situation.  I just really don't know where I stand on the issue because honestly, I don't really know everything that is going on in the Middle East.  So, I tried to politely turn it down, and she kind of scowled at me, rolled her eyes, and said, "I probably shouldn't say this, but I head this one time and really like it.  Those who don't get involved are supporting the oppressor."  Well, I don't really know who the oppressor is in this situation.  Israel thinks it's Palestine, and vice versa.
        I think that instead of signing petitions for a situation we can't truly have a grasp on, we should pray.  We should pray for God to intervene in the way He wants to.  I don't know.  It's late and this is, as always, a very scattered post.
        EMU has a lot of clubs on campus, just like any other university.  Sadly though, we have more political clubs than Christian... I just think it's crazy that we don't have more about God or less about other things.  Do we really think God should rule our lives?  Or should the environment?  Do you get more mad when you see someone throw a recyclable bottle away, or when an hour goes by without talking about Christ?  I don't even want to know the percentage of time spent at dinner talking about the environment over God.
        Well, I think that we should make a difference by spreading God's Word.  Sure, if we other respectable things in the meantime, that's great.  But our main goal, as clearly laid out by Christ, is making Him known to all peoples.  The great commission.
        "Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go.  When they saw Him, they worshiped Him; but some doubted.  Then Jesus came to them and said, 'All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.  Therefore, go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.  And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.'" --Matthew 28:16-20
      
        Side note -- Can Elmwood please put a paper towel dispenser in our bathroom??  I have nothing at all against air dryers, but you can't really wipe off a wet counter with one...

Purity

I really hope that this post challenges you.  I hope that I somehow get more readers than the few friends of mine at EMU who also blog.  This is for everyone.  Men/women.  Married/single.  Young/old.  It is definitely for me too. 

It's the day after Valentine's Day which I dislike for many reasons, none of which actually include the fact that I am single.  I told Rebekah that I was going to write a post about my pet peeves of relationships and how there are certain things that seem so normal in a relationship that I don't want in mine and that I want to be held accountable for.  After yet another wonderful Bible Study with my girls at Aletheia, I have a much better post in mind. 


Have you ever completely had your views rocked?  There are a few things I think most people know about me. First off, I'd love to think that everyone knows I am a Christian.  I try my hardest to be a genuine Christian as well.  Along with being a Christian, a lot of people know from either me freely talking about it, or from people asking why I wear a ring on my left ring finger but am not engaged, that I have chosen to remain sexually pure for my husband and for Christ. 


Sexual purity sounds pretty great to me.  What more could you want from your future spouse?  Well.  I can name a few other areas we need to be pure.  And let me tell you.  Sexual purity seems so easy compared to the other three I am going to tell you about.  I will be the first to admit that I am not pure, but I now know what I need to work on.  


So I'll start on my easy one.  Body.  Sexuality.  However, this very well could be someone's hardest category.  This does not just pertain to sex though.  I can't put it any better than Lauren did tonight.  She said it is, "any physical act pertaining to any form of sexuality outside marriage."  Maybe this is easy for me because I don't have a boyfriend.  I am not kissing someone on a regular basis (or at all) in a way that would make me question my boundaries.  I have thought more about the future because of this though.  How far will I be willing to go with a boyfriend?  Break ups happen.  While I would love to think that my first boyfriend will turn into my husband, that just can't be guaranteed.  I know that especially in this world, this thought can sound crazy, but what if I don't want to kiss my boyfriend?  I want to be as pure as possible for my future husband, even if it means not kissing him when he is my boyfriend.  Is kissing other boys pure?  Nope.  Not really.  Of course, this is something which he will have a say in too.  


Heart.  Our heart encompasses our affections, emotions, desires, and passions.  Let's be honest.  Girls typically are more emotional and emotionally involved than men.  This is a struggle for a lot of people.  It's so easy to stay up late talking to someone who is not our betrothed.  It's easy to become involved intimately with someone that we shouldn't.  Honestly, this one doesn't effect me that terribly much.  I think most of the guys that I am really good friends with are purely platonic friendships.  I don't have enough fingers to count how many boys I view as my brothers.  I don't necessarily even mean brother in Christ (which they are too) but just brother. They're like family to me and I'm pretty sure it's something they think too.  I think virtually all of my guy friends know that, if nothing else, our differing of opinions is enough to make a relationship not work out.  I know that nothing will happen between us, so I don't emotionally attach myself to guy friends of mine in a way that I shouldn't.  I know it is hard for some people though, and most likely will be for me too when I gain some nice Christian male friends who are conservative. 


Okay.  These two go in order for me.  Mind.  Oh man.  This one is definitely a struggle that I never knew I had.  This is our understanding and thoughts.  It's our impulse thought.  What do I think about as I brush my teeth in the evening? Or when I am standing at the stir fry station making some eggs for breakfast?  I can tell you that it's probably not God.  My problem is that when I really get to know guys, I find out that they're not right for me, and I move on.  It's when I'm getting to know someone that this whole mind issue occurs.  I make scenarios in my head.  I think, "Oh, well, he's like this and this and this, which is great, because I do this, and so this can work out..."  I don't actually know these things about a guy.  I just make this awesome guy in my head that to this day hasn't been right. It's just this horrible future of what Janelle thinks is best for her life.  I'm sure that God has belly laughed at some of my thoughts and plans for my future.  


Soul.  I always thought that this one was easy too.  Everyone's heard stories of people selling their soul to the devil, whether it was to gain a golden fiddle, or to play Paganini.  Funny how both of those examples have to do with playing the violin... Haha.  Anyway, I've heard time and time again never to date a non-believer, or in a term that I found hilarious, flirt-to-convert.  It's a no no.  You just don't do it.  It's more than that though.  It's spiritual compromise.  It's going to a church or church function in hopes of meeting your future spouse.  I will be the first to admit that it has crossed my mind a time or two that I could meet my future husband at Aletheia and how completely convenient that would be.  We would have similar beliefs.  We probably would both be passionate about spreading the gospel and might be involved in an Aletheia church plant!  But, I mean, I know that I don't want my future husband going to church for the intention of finding a "nice Christian girl" and I shouldn't either, for a boy, of course.  Church is for God.  My life is for God. 


My challenge for you is to think about how much you would be okay with your future spouse to have done with their exes, or even friends.  It's really making me think about my friendships with my brothers in Christ.  Maybe it's not okay to be texting my guy friends random things that don't really matter throughout the day.  I don't want my future husband to be doing that.  I don't want him staying up late talking to a girl on a deep level.  I don't want him sending other girls cute messages or notes.  I need to get back in the habit of journaling to my future husband.  It's a great way to funnel all those those thoughts in a positive way. 


Think of everyone as being your sibling in Christ.  Do it. 

Needs

I have so much to do and so little time to do it.

I need to do my homework.
I need to learn repertoire.
I need to hang out with friends.
I need time for sleep.
I need to find a boyfriend.

Woah, woah, woah.  That was a false statement.  I realized tonight how out of wack my priorities have been in my life.  Yes.  I want nothing more in life than to be a great mom married to a fantastic man who form a family fulfilling God's will.  After Bible study tonight though, I realized not only have I not met anyone that I honestly think is what I need in a relationship, but I'm not at the point in my life either.  I am not in a point in my relationship with Christ where I am ready for a distraction.  Yes.  That is what a boyfriend would be.  He'd be a huge distraction in my walk with Christ in all honesty.

I want Christ to be the center of all I do.  It's a goal that will never be met.  If you reach it somehow, please, by all means, let me know how you did it.  I know that I need to share this goal with my future husband.  I need someone who can walk with Christ with me.  Someone who can push me when I feel tired.  Someone who interprets the Bible the way I do. Someone who believes that every. word. is. Truth.

Someone who is always excited about Christ and what He is doing in their lives and the lives of those around them.  Someone who will be the kind of husband the Bible clearly lays out.  Someone who is on fire for Christ.  Someone who will blow me away with his love and deep relationship with God.

What I really need to do is completely and wholly devote my life to Christ.  As I just turned 20 this week, I have decided that this Saturday, I am going to spend 20% of my day (since I've lived roughly 20% of my life and I am 20. It works out...) with Christ in prayer, scripture, and thought.  I'm sure there will be a blog to follow.

In Christ's love,
Janelle.

Two Decades.

I can't wait for January 30, 2013.  I will be able to have a once-in-a-lifetime facebook status.  It will say "It's my birthday tomorrow.  No one here could know I was born this Thursday, 22 years ago."  I indeed was born on a Thursday just like Mr. Jon Foreman -- who is pretty awesome if you didn't know already.  So, look for this status in a year and 355 days.

So.  Here I sit.  A 20 year old.  A girl in her 20's.  Woah.  This is just weird, strange, and slightly overwhelming. A lot will happen (potentially) in my 20's.  I will most likely graduate... I don't know why I wouldn't.  There's a pretty big chance that, while I don't have a boyfriend, I will get married.  If I do get married, there is a fairly large chance I will have children.  In my 20's.  I am 20.

It's a lot to ponder.  I've never really cared that much about how old I am.  The last time I remember being pumped about being a year older was when I was turning 13.  Come on.  Everyone wants to be a teenager.  But I don't know... There's just something about being 20.  I don't even think I'll care that much about turning 21 since I am not a huge fan of alcohol, and aside from being able to legally drink, what good is 21?  But I digress.

I have successfully lived two decades.  Go me!  And I have to say, I'm feel really great with where I'm at.  I feel like I have great friends, a great support group, a flat out amazing family, and a great life ahead of me.  I just hope that I am living each and every day doing what God wants and that I am pleasing to Him.

Awesome

DISCLAIMER:  This might make you angry/frustrated... But not me.

        So tonight, Rebekah made me go to a women's bible study through Aletheia.  They, well, we, are doing a series on marriage, sexuality, divorce and related topics.  It was just so awesome sitting in a circle with a dozen or so other girls who share beliefs with me.  At first, I thought it was just going to be a decent study with nothing too touchy, until we were talking about Genesis 2:23-24. It reads,

The man said, 

"This is now bone of my bone 

and flesh of my flesh; 

she shall be called 'woman'

for she was taken out of man."

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,

and they will become one flesh.

        We talked about what it meant to leave your father and mother as a woman, and one of the girls said something along the lines of, "It means your parents are no longer in charge of your life. They don't have authority over you." Mary, the leader, interjected there and said, "Yes, because your husband does now."  I just sat there and smiled.  It's nice to know that I am not the only woman (along with Rebekah) who really believes that women are to submit to their husbands.  Men are to be the heads of the households. 

There is a hefty analogy in Ephesians which I love and take to heart.  It says, 

"Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.  Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.  Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stair or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.  In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies.  He who loves his wife loves himself  After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church -- for we are members of his body." 

-Ephesians 5:22-30

        Wow.  So much is said here.  Wives, submit to your husbands.  I mean, I'm pretty sure that means that we are to obey them, which gives them authority over us.  He is head of his wife.  I just don't understand how women have issues with this.  Men are to treat their wives as Christ treats the church.  I know Christ always gives me more than I need, or even realize I want.  Why would I ever have any issue submitting to someone who was going to love me, care for me, treat me with respect, never hurt me, and protect me?  If you can give me a legit answer, by all means, let me know. 

        I guess it just baffles me how people can be "Christians" but ignore whatever they deem "outdated" because the Bible is old.  I, for one, believe the Bible is truth.  It is perfect.  Not all of it is happy and joyful and makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.  It challenges us.  It gives us hope.  It motivates us.  I, for one, believe the Word. 

        I for one, will be going back to this Bible study :)

Huh.

        DISCLAIMER:  This is a very scattered post.  I haven't completely processed my thoughts, but I just had to get this out there.

        I just got back from playing flute at a Mennonite meeting.  There was a group of about 18 pastors or elders of Mennonite churches anywhere from Harrisonburg, Minnesota and I believe Ohio?  Anyway.  They are having a conference about how to hold political conversations in the Mennonite church.  It was a very interesting experience, and I was just there to hear their introductions and sing some.  I would have been very interested in staying to hear what the talked about, but part of me thinks that I would not have enjoyed it at all.  The introductions got fairly long.  They talked about reasons people were leaving their church.  Some reasons included too much dialogue about peace, why the American flag was no longer flown in front of the church, and various stances the church took, mainly about war.
        One preacher said that he had a few families leave because of how he pushed peace especially, and then he said, "Well, either that, or because I didn't preach about 7 day creation." That floored me.  A Mennonite church.  Not preaching a 7 day creation.  What was he preaching then??  That comment alone made me not want to attend his church.
        Another lady talked about how about 8 years ago, she was part of an 8 week dialogue between Republicans and Democrat Christians.  She said that it was a good experience and that she thinks she recommends it. Thinks.  She then went on to talk about how she is in a group of Christians, Jews, and Muslims that get together and learn about each other's faith and walks of life.  She raved about this.  Once again, my mind went berserk.  She found it easier to talk about religion with two other very different religions than to talk to people from the opposing political party?  That just blows my mind.
        I felt very outnumbered at this meeting.  There was only one brave soul who said he was "more" conservative.  I had to wonder how much they will actually get accomplished this afternoon.  It is such an unbalanced group of people.  They want to know about issues from both sides of the board.  How can you do that with hardly any representation from one of the parties?
        This made me think about a lot of things.
        1.  It made me wonder how much Mrs. Roth's statement in Government my Sr year is really true.  She lived in Australia for a while, and said that the Democrat and Republican parties are the closest political parties in a country.  Let me explain.  She said that the Dems and GOP are more similar than the two opposing parties in Australia, or in Sweeden or Kenya.  I think about the "hot" topics and how Dems and Reps are as completely opposite as can be in my mind.  And then I think about, well, if this really is a true statement, why can't we seem to to talk about politics without getting all in a fury?  I read on one of my peers blogs about how she can hardly even talk to conservatives.  I just don't understand.  We are humans.  Within this context, we are both CHRISTIAN humans.
        2.  How did Republicans get the stereotype of being close minded?? Yes.  I do admit that I am stubborn in my beliefs, and I think it is good to be.  BUT, I have never heard a conservative person talk about how they just can't even hear other beliefs.  Typically, if I try to give my 2 cents in a political conversation with a group liberal and conservatives, I will get cut off.  I'm not saying all liberals are like this.  Meg, for one, is definitely not this way, and I LOVE that about her :)  People make assumptions about me all the time too.  There is a group that just started at EMU called the Student Women's Association.  They encouraged feminists, non-feminists, female and male alike to all come and talk about women's issues.  I was interested in going, being that I am one of the few non-feminists at EMU.  I wanted to hear what people believed, what they were hoping to accomplish with this group amongst many other things.  A guy friend of mine asked if I was going, and I was thinking about how to tell him that I kind of wanted to go, but wasn't sure if it was actually going to really be accepting of all views, and before I could say that, another girl goes, "No she's not.  Janelle isn't a feminist."  Well, okay, yeah, that's true, but it's not true that I wasn't going to go.  But then I didn't go.  The least she could have done was say something like, "Oh, Janelle, you should come! It would interesting to hear your thoughts on feminism."  I guess they'll never know.  I hope someone represented my views that night... but it's very doubtful. 
        3.  Most importantly, it made me realize how much I really appreciate Aletheia, and I know now more of why I do now.  Yes, if I had to guess, the church as a whole probably leans towards the right purely because of how outreach oriented they are.  I really love that about Aletheia.  But, I also love how they put GOD first in their church.  Not Obama, not congress, not what bill is about to be passed that we do or don't want to succeed.  They dive into scripture and focus on GOD and what He wants for us -- how we are supposed to act and treat each other with LOVE.  They go through the BIBLE and say it how it is, not how they WANT it to be.  They don't stretch scripture to try swing your political alliances the other way.

Okay.
I'd better be going to class now.

I just want to leave you with a challenge to truly listen to one another, no matter how different we may be.

Gentleman

I've been doing a lot of thinking about what qualities I think the "perfect man" possesses.  Sure, there are multiple reasons I shouldn't do this -- He probably doesn't exist, and if he did, I probably don't deserve him.  Regardless, I have made a fairly long list of qualities I want my future husband to posses.  Aside from any quality that relates to humor or Christianity, I've realized that this person I've described is essentially Darcy.  I think I may have been born a couple hundred years too late.  I wish I lived in a world where almost every man was a true gentleman. 


I found this list of 10 qualities of a 21 century gentleman which I agree with for the most part.  There are just subtle things that I would change.  So to any male readers out there, which I really doubt I have any, feel free to read this and take it to heart.  


To end, I just want to say that I love it when a guy knows how to dress himself  :)

Questions

        Stressed during Christmas break?  That's exactly what I am.  I am stressed and it's Christmas break.  "Why are you stressed, Janelle?" you might ask.  That's a great question.
        Life is stressing me out.  It's so big and important and half the time, I feel like I'm not ready for it.  I need to start looking for a summer job.  I have three options.  I can work somewhere to make money, I can volunteer, or I can work at a camp.  Which do I choose?  Money would be nice, considering that I go to a private university that is by no means cheap.  Would it be fulfilling?  Probably not, but I guess there could be jobs out there that I really feel like I am doing God's will.  But what would that be?  I don't know.
        Volunteering.  Oh boy. I feel like this is the hardest one, and not because of the lack of money.  I just want to leave.  I want out of Harrisonburg for a while.  So if I were to leave, I would have to find an organization or place to volunteer with that I feel I can support.  I would also either have to rent, which I definitely don't have money for, or live with friends and relatives, and I'm not the kind of person that feels comfortable asking for lodging, especially for an extended period like a summer.  I would feel like such a mooch.  So that leaves camp.
        I've always had a heart for summer camps.  I went to Highland Retreat growing up and have made some great friends and had great experiences through that.  I found out a lot about my relationship with Christ and how I best grow with Him through camp.  I even got baptized at Highland.  But I feel myself getting restless in and around Harrisonburg.  I didn't get away for college, so I really want to get away this summer, and camp would be an easy way to do that.  There are Christian camps all over the US.  So... Where to go?  I have two friends who worked at River Valley Ranch in Maryland, but could I actually do a whole summer around horses? (For those of you who don't know, Janelle + horses = hives.)  Also, by looking at pictures, hearing stories and going to their website, RVR looks like a place where I would either absolutely love it, or just get really overwhelmed.  Am I willing to take that risk?  So, I looked up Mennonite Camps since I am Mennonite and went to Highland my whole life.  I feel like I know what to expect at least a little.  But they all sound the same.  Where is a good fit for me?  Where can I not just be a catalyst in helping others grow in Christ, but grow in Christ myself?
        Oh.  I guess I also have the option for missions, but that requires money that I do not have.  Plus, I can go to Atmore, AL for free :)
        So... If you have the answers to any of these questions, by all means, please let me know.